(Closed) Is it rude to guests to only have a cash registry?

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Are you publicly asking for cash or are you just hoping a lack of gift registry will prompt people to give you cash?  If you’re actually asking for cash, yep I think its rude.  General consensus on this board is the same.  Some people aren’t comfortable with giving cash so I think it’s smart to have a registry, even if it just has a few items on it.

Post # 4
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

If you’re just not having a registry in hopes that people will take the hint and get you cash, not rude.

If you’re outright asking for cash, yes it’s rude. You really shouldn’t dictate a gift.

Post # 5
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I just don’t understand how an individual is not comfortable giving cash ? It’s a wedding, the couple is getting married, they need cash, they want cash, they can use cash. 

I guess being Eastern European and Armenian, I am used to giving money to people for birthdays, anniversary’s, baptism’s, and especially weddings. 

Post # 6
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@KatyElle:  This.

However, if you have a shower, you should be expecting actual gifts since showers are events designed around giving gifts, so I think it would be reasonable for people to expect you to have registered for that. Usually people who don’t want gifts don’t have a shower.

Post # 7
Member
779 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Maybe just have the shower for gifts, then the wedding for a cash donation? Like don’t go put it on the invitation of anything that you just want cash, but maybe tell your family and bridal party, and they can spread the word, so when someone from Out of Town or an distant aunt goes and askes the maid of honor where the registry is, they can politely tell them? This seems polite and not outright asking for cash.

I personally hate giving cash as a gift… haha, I hate doing it, and I don’t even know why! I’d even much rather give gift cards.

But oddly enough, I love getting cash gifts. I’m having a wedding registry, but secretly hoping for cash gifts. But you can always bring back the gifts, right??

Post # 8
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Both of you are being rude. The purpose of a shower is to give the bride physical gifts. And it’s never appropriate or polite to ask for cash outright. As PPs have said, you can not make a registry and hope people take the hint, but if you do that then you need to also decline all showers.

Post # 9
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

As a former (but very recently) broke college student, I know I’d rather give a physical gift.  Sometimes I find stuff on sale or use my Macy’s card to get an extra discount and I’m able to give a larger physical gift that I’d be able to give in cash.  Or maybe they’re not comfortable because they think its rude too.  You shouldn’t dictate what they should give you, or that they should give you anything at all.

 

ETA: I don’t think any of us would be disappointed with cash, but I’d appreciate a physical gift just as much.

Post # 10
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yep. I’d find it rude. I prefer to give physical gifts or use a honeymoon registry for the shower. I give cash at the wedding only.

Post # 11
Member
2488 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That is what I wanted to do but I was told it was rude so I made a registry even though I don’t need anything really and it mostly has expensive stysff on it anyway since thats what my needs are… I tried to add some cheaper things but .. yeah it was a pain!

Post # 12
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I didn’t register and now I’m being forced into registering because of my in laws and I now know exactly why I didn’t. I HATE it.

However I agree with KatyElle. If you didn’t register so people would give you cash, fine. If you registered cash only registry, not so fine.

Post # 13
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Where I grew up you bring a physical gift to showers and cash/check to the wedding.  If you didn’t want physical gifts, your shower became a ‘lingerie shower’ and people just brought you lingerie (the assumption being that while you might not need any new home goods, you can always use some new lingerie and that it won’t take up space like 10 new blenders would).  Cash for a shower would definitely make me feel somewhat uncomfortable.

I should say this…even if you don’t register, people will still buy physical gifts. Just like how even if you do register a few people will buy something not on the registry (this is how I ended up with FOUR Tiffany water pitchers I don’t ever plan to use)

Post # 16
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Etiquette dictates that requesting cash openly is in fact uncouth, however if we’re playing according to Emily Post so is telling people where you registered…..so how does anyone find out what the hell you want?  It’s fine, you don’t want a toaster you want cash, ask for it, but be prepared for some raised eyebrows from guest outside your family circle.

The topic ‘Is it rude to guests to only have a cash registry?’ is closed to new replies.

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