Post # 1
Member
1743 posts
Bumble bee
I’m getting married in Greece next year and have 2 bridesmaids. One of them, my Maid/Matron of Honor, is telling me all about her ideas for how she’s going to look at my wedding. I’m paying for their hair and makeup. She wants to do a full out Greek goddess look, curly hair up with gold laurel wreath headbands, long dress with either one or two slits, gold belt, gold arm band. I really wasn’t going for a Greek goddess look for my wedding. I’m worried she’s going to look like she’s in a costume next to everyone else in the bridal party. My question is, since I’m paying for the hair and makeup, is it okay to tell her not to do the curly hair with gold headbands? I honestly don’t care what hairstyle she chooses, but I would really prefer to get away from doing things in order to look like a Greek goddess costume. I get it that we’re getting married in Greece, but it’s because we’re Greek (she is too), I’m not having it in Greece because I like mythology. Tell me if I’m being a bridezilla.
Post # 2
Member
1495 posts
Bumble bee
kristin36890 : If you’re paying for it you can definitely ask her to wear it differently. I can understand not wanting to have forever photos with a Grecian goddess standing next to you throughout your ceremony lol
Post # 3
Member
1991 posts
Buzzing bee
kristin36890 : I’ve been a bridesmaid several times and not once have I tried to plan out my own “look”. I’ve been told to wear my hair up in an updo, down in curls, etc. Even if you weren’t paying for it you can choose an overall look (maybe not specifics), but if you are paying for it then you can certainly ask her to do her hair a certain way. Maybe you should come up with what you want instead of telling her what you don’t want so that you aren’t insulting her vision, but following your own vision instead.
Post # 4
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
“Oh what a fun idea! Can we do it so that it’s more Greek goddess *inspired* though? I guess I don’t want it to look like you’re in costume.”
Share a Pinterest board or something like that with some ideas. You can do a cool Grecian updo, a maxi dress, and some gold bangles without looking like a costume. It’s all in the execution!
Post # 5
Member
12219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
You can offer pay for hair if you want but that does not give you the right yo dictate how she wears it. You get input into the dress, but not personal grooming.
Post # 6
Member
1743 posts
Bumble bee
abwcmo : It’s the Grecian updo that’s bothering me. Am I allowed to tell her I’d prefer her hair straight without the headbands? We both have very curly hair and I wanted everyone’s hair to look smooth and elegant. To me, curly hair is more casual and my wedding is not casual.
Post # 7
Member
12219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
kristin36890 : No you can’t politely tell her how to wear her hair or how to accessorize it. You get the dress, period.
Post # 8
Member
1743 posts
Bumble bee
weddingmaven : So if she wanted to wear a veil in her hair, I couldn’t tell her please no?
Post # 9
Member
11614 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
kristin36890 : you can’t tell her not to wear her hair curly or straight. That’s too much.
But the Grecian headbands are too much for her to wear at your wedding, unless you asked everyone to wear them.
Asking her not to add costume elements is not going too far. But you shouldn’t tell people not to curl their hair.
Post # 10
Member
1743 posts
Bumble bee
BalletParker : She has naturally curly hair and she wants to wear it naturally curly. Is it okay then to tell her I won’t be paying for her hair to be done if she doesn’t want to utilize the hairstylist? She’s just going to let it airdry.
Post # 11
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
You’re totally justified telling her no to headbands, etc. It’s expected the bride will give guidance to the wedding party on the style of dress/accessories. It’s your wedding photos she’ll be in – so go ahead and tell your bridesmaids what you’d like them to wear.
I’ve been a bridesmaid a few times, and never would consider telling the bride what I thought her wedding party should look like! If you casually tell her you’re just not into wreath headbands and are going for a more “X” style for your wedding, she’ll probably get right on board. I’ll second the pinterest board rec – sharing the stuff you do like with her may be a big help.
Post # 12
Member
4973 posts
Honey bee
I’m not sure could it be be seen as insulting to Greek culture to make a costume?
Either way I’d broach this lightly. But this sounds kind of ridiculous its going to look like a costume. I think the curled hair is ok a lot of people curl hair for events.
Hair bands would look ok but arm band = costume.
Eta just saw that you’re both Greek so you can’t complain about offending dang.
Post # 13
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
I think you could tell her you love her Grecian goddess inspiration but want to make sure it doesn’t stray towards being costumey. The straight vs curly hair is too far though, IMO. Her hair is naturally curly, and the notion that one is professiona/glamorous vs casual is frankly a bit outdated. Lots of women with curly hair, ex POC, doesn’t want to straighten their hair as it can be quite damaging. I think there’s happy compromise somewhere here – maybe instead of letting her curls totally airdry the stylist can help guide them and but a gloss/shine product on them to tame them a bit.
Post # 14
Member
12219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
kristin36890 : Come back when she tells you she plans to wear a bridal veil. That is not remotely what she’s doing. If you have already offered to pay for hair it would be petty to rescind because she wants to wear her hair curly and you don’t like her hair accessories. Also, there is a big difference between styled curls and air drying them.
Post # 15
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
Regardless if you are paying for it or not, its your wedding. She sounds like she is really excited for your wedding, and thats great! Just let her know your vision and I am sure all will be fine 🙂
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