(Closed) Bridesmaid "Look"

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

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kristin36890 :  You definitely have a right to tell her the idea you have on her look. Its your wedding, and like multiple others have mentioned, she is going to be in your photographs. If you’re going with a certain style, I think she should stick with it. 

Post # 17
662 posts
Busy bee

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kristin36890 :  Oh man this is really something. Can you encourage her to add a gold tiara with a winged crown?

Can you get the hairstylist on the phone? Get the hairstylist to talk her out of it. Or tell her for the pictures you are asking your wedding party to have their hair done without any accessories. After the pictures she can put that contraption back on her head. What is WRONG with this individual?!

Post # 19
113 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t know if you are having any kind of bachelorette or a girls night before the wedding. Maybe you could do what other mentioned as far as the actual wedding but compromise and have all three of you “goddessed out” for that event. Gold jewelry and all, given what some people wear to bachelorettes this would not be too unusual. Then she could go ALL OUT but would probably be ok doing something different for the actual wedding. You could say it sounds like fun and you would really like to do it too!! For the wedding I was thinking a bit more like this though etc. 

Post # 20
13720 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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kristin36890 :  Full air dry is another story. Maybe she just wants a shampoo and some anti frizz or products. That would cost a lot less anyway. Or maybe she wants help styling it after it’s dry or partly dry. Why don’t you ask her if she still needs the hair person? 

Post # 21
322 posts
Helper bee

When my friend paid for our hair and makeup for her wedding, she just told us “we were going for the natural look.” No one said anything, nor even cared to. It was understood. Her wedding, her money, her choice.

Post # 22
650 posts
Busy bee

I think she’s free to do her hair however she likes, but you are completely within your rights to ask her not to wear a costume to your wedding. 

Post # 23
10221 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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kristin36890 :  

I think you might lose out on the hair, but as for the rest , did you tell the bms they could choose their  own dress , no stipulation at all as to length ,  material style etc ? . Because if you did, that’s a problem , if not , then  I think you need to quickly  and firmly email or otherwise show them the style, type, colour etc of dress you desire . And lightly reiterate that no, none of you is doing ‘Greek  Goddess’ thanks lol.

Post # 24
1127 posts
Bumble bee

You can totally nix the armbands and headbands.  100% 

Dress with 2 slits?  I think you can politely dictate dress guidelines too.

I can’t support the curl thing though : / you asked if you were being a bridezilla- I think this might fall into that category unfortunately.  Maybe if she’s 100% going to air dry you can ask the hair stylist not to do her hair so you don’t waste the money?


Keep in mind she may change her mind day of when you and your other Bridesmaid or Best Man have sleek styled hair & she is “natural”.  Don’t stress about it this far in advance, but nip the over the top accessories in the bud.


Post # 25
2 posts

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kristin36890 :  Hairstylists STYLE hair, they don’t wash and dry it. The airdry is irrelevant. You’re going too far and to rescind the offer of the stylist would be crazy rude. 

Post # 26
1505 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

You can 1000% nix the gold head and arm bands and maybe even a 2-slit dress too, but you can’t make her wear her hair straight. And frankly, threatening to take away her hairstyle if she won’t is super rude/uncalled for and would give her legitimate cause for complaint against you. You’d be a serious bridezilla. If is a close enough friend to warrant this role, you need to accept her hair the way it is. The whole “why should I pay for this” stuff is nonsense- the stylist will still style her hair, just leaving it curly. It will look beautiful, so just relax.

Post # 27
44 posts
  • Wedding: October 2017

You are paying for it and it is your wedding, absolutely you can dictate how you want it to look! I paid for everything, I gave them options and they chose what they liked. It is your wedding, you can choose whatever you want! You are NOT being ridiculous. Also, arent you so sick of people saying “it’s your big day”, if you dont get to put on the wedding of your dreams!

Post # 29
3050 posts
Sugar bee

Perhaps you could suggest a simpler headband or some hair combs? You could find some that look dressy but less goddess-y.

or what about something like this as a compromise? It’s curly, an updo, and goddess-inspired but not costumey.


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