Bridesmaid "Look"

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
Member
12128 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Again, you cannot properly or politely dictate acccessories such as hairbands and arm bands. All you get is the dress. Your BMs are individuals, not props or dancers on a chorus line. 

Post # 34
Member
661 posts
Busy bee

kristin36890 :  Oh my gosh, it’s a definite no to the laurel wreath in the picture!!! She’s free to wear it to her wedding, but to turn your wedding in Greece into mythical cosplay is beyond extra. 

Post # 35
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

My opinion, is that you should get to dictate the overall look to a certain degree. Many brides as for hair to be up, or down etc or for neutral makeup or matching flower wreaths… that is expected.. perhaps dictating it be straight would be too far (but a converstation to see if she as down for it?) but for a bridesmaid to TELL you shes dressing in this crazy theme? Perhaps she is just excited about the wedding and got carried away?

Post # 36
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Okay if you’re paying for them to get hair and makeup done I’m pretty sure it’s assumed that you get to decide how they get it done. I would let them know that you’re going for something a little more subtle/understated and elegant. I think the dictating her hair texture is a little too much. Also if I’m paying for everything if I wanted them to wear a certain accessory I would purchase it and just give it to them day of as either a present or part of their outfits. However where I’m from and in past weddings I’ve been in usually the dresses and accessories have been purchased by the bride and this is what I plan to do. So myabe that’s why I think it’s so weird that they have so much leeway. I’m planning on buying their dresses, any accessories and paying for their hair and makeup to get done (even though I don’t have a specific look in mind) abd letting them wear whatever shoes they feel comfortable in. I doubt I’d have to really set parameters like this with my friend group but I wouldn’t be afraid to do so, albeit gently. 

Post # 37
Member
20 posts
Newbee

If you’re paying for her hair, she’ll have her hair how you darn well want it! (Within reason, if its a style that really accentuates a bad feature of hers then that would be unfair)

Slightly different story if she was paying for it, but even then its your wedding and she should at least take guidance from what youre after

She can do Greek goddess for her own wedding one day

Post # 38
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

How are curls less formal? It’s a genetic trait. I’m also curly headed, and it seems like in popular culture curly hair is seen as ugly and messy and straight hair is the ideal (Princess Diaries anyone?). But curly hair is beautiful. Anyway you’re paying for hair and makeup so you get a say in the general look but to dictate curly or straight is pretty bridezilla.

Post # 39
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I think you should just be honest. Are you guys close enough that you can just let her know what your thinking? Could you just say :

“Hey I don’t mind what you do with your hair, but I find that the headbands and the accessories are too much and I fear it might get too costumey”

I agree with people that since you are paying for the hair/makeup then it’s your choice. However, a compromise would be she has curly hair and no accessories. 

Post # 40
Member
2131 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I’d say it is fine to tell her “no accessories.” I don’t think you should dictate straight or curly. I have straight hair, so I’m more likely to curl it for a special event!! 

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