(Closed) Bridesmaid Luncheon

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I had lunch with just my BMs, one friend from out of town, my mom and Maid/Matron of Honor.

I definitely wouldn’t want a crowd.  It was a time for us to chat and relax.  I definitely didn’t want to feel like I had to entertain guests.

I think you should just tell your Future Mother-In-Law that your maids are expecting some intimate time with you- not a big crowd of people.

Post # 4
2765 posts
Sugar bee

Wow, there’s a bridesmaids luncheon?!

Post # 6
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2005 - Westside Loft, New York

the bridesmaids luncheon is typically just for you and your bridesmaids.  with all those other events around your wedding, it seems like you’ve made a big effort to really include your guests? 

check out mrs. raspberry’s super duper cute bridesmaid luncheon, complete with hats!


Post # 7
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I agree.  Too much.  Maybe you can tell her, that you don’t have the emotional stamina for this many big gatherings.  You need sleep and down time too.  The luncheon needs to be small, personal, to thank your BM’s before a hectic wedding day, in which you won’t have as much time to hang out with them.   I hope she is accepting of this answer.

Post # 8
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is a Bridesmaid or Best Man luncheon a well known thing in another part of the country?  I’m in CA and I’ve never heard of it.

Post # 9
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

My bridesmaids’ luncheon will include my six BMs, my friend who is going to read at the ceremony, my mom, and the two ladies who are hosting it (two of my high school teachers — how great is that??). Oh, and me, of course! 😉 We’re having it at someone’s home.

 I don’t know if it’s regional, but in my part of the South the bridesmaids’ luncheon is a pretty standard part of the wedding weekend.

Post # 10
26 posts
  • Wedding: September 2009

Google bridesmaids lunch and you’ll see it’s a old fashioned, mostly southern tradition.  I’ve been to one, and found it wonderful.  It was bigger, but fun to relax with all the ladies.  A family friend offered to host one for me, and it will probably be under 20 people — the bridesmaids (6), the moms (2), and our special aunts/surrogate moms.  It is a time to honor your bridesmaids, so you should absolutely keep it as small as you want.  The bride is traditionally the host, so I think it is perfectly appropriate to tell your Future Mother-In-Law that you want keep the event small, to keep the focus on your bridesmaids.

Good luck!

Post # 12
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Yeah, definitely BM’s only.  It’s pretty nice of you to invite your Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law and FGMIL already.  I always think of it as a way for the bride to have a special moment with the women who mean the most to her in her pre-married life.  So no, you do not need to invite them if you do not want to.  As to how to handle it, I think you should just tell her that this is what you’ve envisioned and you really need it.  Hopefully she’s not so overbearing as to insist (even if she doesn’t understand).  If it gets ugly (and I hope it won’t), though, it probably would make sense to have your FH intervene.  It sounds like you’re having a big wedding and I suspect you’ll really need this break…If you think about it in that way it’ll probably help you stand firm. 

Post # 13
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Definitely only have your BMs there.  I think inviting everyone else could stifle the conversation.  I know what I talk about around my mom is way different from what I talk about with my BFFs.  Plus there’s always jokes about the wedding night.  I would be mortified if my mom heard anything about it!!

Post # 14
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

In Massachusetts they are very common. I have never been a bridesmaid and have not been part of one, but from my understanding, it is usually the bride and her bridesmaids, including the mothers is optional (I plan to) and I honestly haven’t heard of including anyone else, but since regions vary, it may be different near you.

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