(Closed) bridesmaid making bride feel guilty?

posted 7 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@skschick:  I do not think you are asking too much! Why does she have to rent a car? Its not like she is flying in and a hotel for two nights should only cost around 150! You didn’t require her to make an expensive dress. So I don’t think you should feel bad one bit!!

Post # 4
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

No, I don’t think you’re asking too much, and I have NO idea why she thinks it will cost her $1000 to come to your wedding, unless she’s planning to get a suite somewhere at a fancy hotel.  Even if she does have to rent a car, that’s not that expensive and neither are hotel rooms.  It sounds like she’s just being a drama-queen to me.  *hugs*

Post # 5
15 posts

Since its just a formality for the reception, tell her if its going to be such a hardship for her never mind.  Like you said, you will already be married so she can just come as a guest and wear something that she already has and not have to make a dress.  


Post # 6
33 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

Overall it sounds like she is definitely being a stick in the mud about your wedding- which sucks. Basically all my bm’s even my sister is being like that with mine- non of them have helped out with ANYTHING. :*(  But thinking on her side.. she may feel like you never talk about anything but your wedding.. so make sure to ask her whats going on in her life.. she may be jealous,.. she may be feeling financial stress… a million things. I hope she steps up for you!

Post # 7
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It sounds like you might just need to list out all of the expected costs for her and what things you expect her to pay for. That way it’s all out in the open. If she’s mistaken about it adding up to $1000, put everything on paper and show her how this wouldn’t be the case because she is obviously getting anxious about the financial side of things

Post # 8
1772 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’d guess what she might not be saying, but might be thinking, is that she’s confused about (or changed her mind about) being a bridesmaid when there isn’t a wedding and/or she won’t be at the weddng.  It does seem odd to me to have bridesmaids when there isn’t any wedding they’re attending.  Instead, it’s your friends who you’re asking to help set up?  Sometimes you just have to make decisions & you can’t get the best of both worlds, you just have to choose the approach you like the best and take the pros & cons of it.  It sounds like she won’t just say what the issue is & she’s maybe trying to get out of coming or to get you to pay for something?

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