(Closed) Bridesmaid might not come to the wedding…

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
367 posts
Helper bee

I think it’s great that you understand and are not being a bridezilla about it.

Post # 18
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

No, I think you’re being reasonable & doing what any good friend would do.

That said– where does she live that flights cost $4000 & are 26 hours? I’m so curious now lol.

Post # 20
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

You’re great for not being all crazy about this.

But my thing is, an overseas move is not just an overnight decision.  She’s had to have known about this move for a very long time.  Then, why would she agree to being a BM?  A great idea is to list her in the program as an honorary Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Post # 21
Member
1961 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m actually going through something similar right now. My Maid/Matron of Honor is going to be starting a program teaching English overseas right before the wedding. She won’t be able to delay the start date or come back once she’s left. I’ve known my Maid/Matron of Honor and been best friends with her for a little over 11 years. I knew she had to go. I don’t want her putting her life on hold for me (that would be ridiculous). Once I got the official news that she accepted a position it really hit me. It hurt really bad for a few days. I’m ok with it now. I think it was just the sudden realization of “Oh this really is happening…”

You seem to be taking the news pretty well! I would probably let her know that while you would love for her to be there you will understand if she does have to bow out due to costs. Leave the decision up to her, but let her know that the outcome will be ok with you no matter what it is.

Post # 22
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

We just booked our honeymoon to NZ (November), and if we hadn’t used flyer miles, it was going to cost (USD) over $2,500 each, and prices were higher for December. Yikes!

Even if it was half of that- it’s still a LOT of money-hopefully she can keep her eye on flights and make it.

Post # 23
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Sarahbear:  I would be more sad that she couldn’t be there, not necessarily angry at her.

Post # 24
Member
4602 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

It sucks it really does.

I’m on the other side… My friend (close friend and old friend) is getting married next May. SO and I have already decided that we will be going. Even though it will cost us about the same as your friend (each). I’m unemployed at the mo, so money is tight. But it does mean we wont be spending Christmas with our families.

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