(Closed) Bridesmaid missing a shower

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You just deal with it.  She is allowed to have a life outside of your wedding. 

Post # 4
Member
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would accept it. Karate is evidently a big part of her life, and I don’t think she should miss an important karate tournament for a bridal shower which has little to do with her. I can’t think of any reason FH’s family would need to meet your Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Post # 5
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

When parties come up that they had no input as to whether the timing was convenient come up and they can’t make it, you let it go.  I’m sure she’ll make an effort to attend at least one shower, or stagette, or luncheon, or shopping session, or other wedding sweatshop.

This is a good time to acknowledge that your wedding party’s time is valuable and thank them for the things they ARE able to attend/assist with.

 

Post # 6
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

You just let it go. Coming to everything isn’t a requirement of being a bridesmaid. I have 3 Bridesmaid or Best Man and only 1 is coming to my shower. One of them is not even coming to my bachelorette party. 

Post # 7
Member
1299 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I know you’re probably upset because obviously she is close to you as she is in your wedding party.  I wouldnt take it as anything personal, things come up and things conflict, and thats life.  Same thing happened to me, and I will have other fam and friends there.  Just make sure someone takes pics in case she wants to see anything and then she can feel included. 

Timing is timing, and it’s hard to get a good time that EVERYONE will be there.  She’s probably already blocked off her schedule for your wedding though!

Post # 8
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

There is not much that you can do…Have a good time with whomever is able to attend 🙂

Post # 9
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I would wish her luck on her karate tournament and tell her she will be missed.  Don’t hold it against her. (not saying you are, but in the future…don’t let it bother you)   I’m sure she would be there if she could have.  I had 6 BM’s and only 1 came to my shower. They were ALL out of town (excpet that one) and while I wished they were all there, it was impractical for them to be.  In the end, they were all at the wedding and that’s what really matters =)

Post # 13
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@june2013bride:  That sounds like a perfect response!  There’s nothing wrong with being honest and letting her know you’re dissapointed that she can’t make it.  I’m sure she’ll do some wonderful things for you as a Bridesmaid =)  

Post # 14
Member
2951 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

I’m sure you feel disappointed but she will also feel the same.

It’s so hard these days as everyone seem to be so busy.

This sucks but it’s just one of those things that can’t be helped.

Post # 15
Member
1299 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@june2013bride:  I recently got raked over the coals on here too, posting about something i was just trying to vent/ say i was worried about.  You have to let a lot of things in relation to the entire wedding experience roll off your back.  Chin up!  June will be here before you know it!

Post # 16
Member
9548 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Bummer!! I can understand the disappointment and I’m sure she is disappointed as well. But not much to do except get over it. Wish her luck at her karate tournament and maybe set up a night out for the two of you?

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