(Closed) Bridesmaid Missing Rehersal Dinner?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

YES, tell the bride! And tell the bride ASAP so she can see about working the rehearsal dinner (or, more importantly, the rehearsal) around your schedule. 

Call her up and say, “Oh hey, I just realized *insert situation here* and I wanted to give you a heads up.” 

Post # 4
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

It’s unfortunate that there might be a conflict, since it sounds like you’re wanting to attend to several close relationships. It’s possible you might luck and and she’ll have the rehearsal on a Thursday evening. When I was a bridesmaid, the rehearsal was on Thursday and my rehearsal will need to be on Thursday as well, due to weddings that book on Friday nights at my venue.

Post # 5
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Just let her know about the conflict now and say what you just said about wanting to be there etc.  As long as the groomsman you’re paired with is there it will be smooth sailing.

Post # 6
30392 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Get in touch with the bride.Tell her of your scheduling conflict. It is not the end of the world if you have to miss the rehearsal or the rehearsal dinner. I am sure she will be disappointed, but it isn’t unheard of.


Post # 7
4996 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Tell her about the scheduling conflict ASAP. I’m sure you can figure something out together. 

Post # 8
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Definitely let her know about it and how badly you do want to attend both the dinner and the graduation.  I was in graduate school and was unable to attend the rehersal dinner when I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man a few years ago and the bride was great about it.  Just be up front about it.

Post # 9
4913 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@nukegirl7:  Isn’t graduation usually during the day and a rehearsal dinner at night?  I would tell the bride immediately that there is this conflict.  Then, I would find out what time the graduation is and see if you could make both.  If not, then I would tell the bride that if she makes it the Thur before the wedding instead of the Fri, you could definitely make it.

Post # 10
1552 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

We have 2 groomsmen who can’t be at our rehearsal (one with a legit reason, the other is purely lazy). From a bride’s perspective, it’s frustrating, but the show must go on! Tell her now so she can absorb and maybe accommodate.

Post # 11
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Just echoing what the other bees said.  Just tell your friend.  If her wedding’s in the summer, you’re giving her plenty of heads up so I’m sure she’ll be understanding.  A  bridesmaid and groomsman never made it to my rehearsal cause they were stuck in traffic.  I don’t what the general sentiments are with other brides regarding rehearsals and dinners, but when it came to mine if someone in the bridal party missed it, it wasn’t a big deal to me.

Post # 14
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If it comes to it, I think you’ll need to miss the graduation. It’s your friends brother, and while its nice you are close and all – I think it’s more important to the there for the bride.

Post # 15
4913 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@nukegirl7:  Interesting, I’ve never had a graduation in the evening (HS, College, Law School – all day).  I never knew it was an option!  The rehearsal dinner from what I understand is also when the bride presents her BMs with their gifts.  I don’t think it’s the end of the world if you miss it, good thing you told her about the graduation dates.  As long as you’re being honest, there’s nothing to worry about.  She could schedule the dinner around you, if it’s possible and if she cares for you to be there (it might not bother her or it just might not work out).  And, you could always try to either go to the rehearsal before the graduation starts if that works or go to the dinner after the graduation works.  You’ll make it work – don’t stress!

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