Post # 1
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
One of my bridesmaids is my the mom of my flower girl. A little over 2 months ago we found the flower girl dress I fell in love with the dress. To save her money I found the dress online and she said she wanted to buy it there. She would buy it in 2 weeks. Now 2 months later the dress has yet to be ordered. The site no longer exists. It was just for first communions and quinceaneras. I spent hours, upon hours, searching for new sites to order from for her.She is now saying she does not trust the sites and does not want to order the dress there. She does not want to order the dress from the bridal salon because it’s to expensive. It’s $160. We picked the dress out together. At the time we were looking all the first communion dresses were out. Now she wants to change the dress. My wedding is less then 2 months away. We don’t have time to order a dress. We don’t have time to search and search to find a new dress. The new dress would have to come from David’s Bridal. The dress we picked out originally we can still get in time. It was perfect. It had beading on the front top like the bridesmaids dresses and laced up in the back like my dress and the bridesmaids dresses. Even though the dresses at David’s Bridal are nice, none compare to the origianl dress because they don’t compliment the rest of our dresses the same.
What do I do? I really want to say your fault you didn’t order it when you said you would, order it from the salon. The dress costs $160.But at the same time I feel bad about having her pay $160 for a flower girl dress, that is why I found it cheaper for her in the first place. I’m so upset, I don’t know what to do.
Post # 3
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
Maybe I’m not up on flower girl dresses, but $160 seems outrageously expensive to me. I can understand your friend’s hesitation. At least with a bridesmaid dress, there is a possibility, however slight, that the girls can wear it again. But with a flower girl dress, that child will grow out of it in a matter of months. I understand that she should’ve ordered it for the cheaper price, but it sounds like the website you wanted to order from wasn’t legitimate. Websites don’t usually just disappear. So, I can understand why she didn’t want to order it from there. There HAS to be a happy medium between ordering it online and ordering from David’s Bridal. Check out department stores or even Etsy for some cheaper options. Have you checked out the david’s bridal outlet website? They have options in the $40-60 range I beg to differ that you don’t have enough time. 2 months is plenty of time to keep looking at department stores. Worst case scenario you could rush order from David’s Bridal. If you really insist on the expensive dress, I’d offer to split the price with her.
Post # 4
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
Perhaps you could offer to pay for it or split it with her? I understand wanting the dress that is the perfect complement but $160 was the cost of my bridesmaid dresses and I thought that was super high even for them (adults). My flower girl borrowed her dress from my neighbor, but the dress did come from Burlington Coat Factory originally. It had pearls all along the top and a tulle skirt with pearls at the bottom. Plus I’m sure you can find some online at great websites for children or department stores.
Post # 5
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
I won’t pay anything for the dress. I know that sounds bitchy. I gave her the choice at the beginning. She agreed to this dress. The dress we found on the site, that I said no longer existed, it actually does, I just trusted her. The price of the dress just went up so when I looked for her again I didn’t give her that site because the price went up and I didn’t remember the name. I had to go back and check. THe dress was much cheaper because it was a knock of dress not by the designer so was $60.
She agreed to buy the dress, I gave her the chance not to 2 months ago. The whole time planning my wedding its been nothing but problems, she didn’t want to ride in the limo with me. Fought about the bridesmaids dresses so bad I almost walked out. Complains how rude my mother-in-law is because she took charge of my shower, when my mother-in-law is one of the nicest people I know. Complains that she doesn’t have the money to pay for my $800 wedding shower all the time. I finally had to tell her to shut up because she’s not paying my mother-in-law is. Called and complained to me and expected me to care of the issues between her and my mother-in-law planning my shower. Refused to wear the same shoes for the wedding for the short dresses they have. I was letting them pick them out. Has fought me on everything I wanted, teling me its not a big deal, the only thing that matters is I’m getting married, the shoes don’t matter, it doesn’t matter what dresses they want to wear, I shouldn’t care. The only things I have a say in are my dress, the church, the reception, the stuff with the guys. I heard all kinds of complaints about the hotel we picked because it was the only one we could get but it was to expensive, which is an option to stay at, no one has to stay. But because of a major sporting event every other hotel in the area was booked and it was the only we could get and we explained this. I guess I want control over the choice of the things at my wedding. Not my bridesmaids controling these things.
Post # 6
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
Whoah. $160 for a flower girl dress, $800 for a shower, expensive hotel, she has to buy specific shoes … ouch. Even if she isn’t on the hook for the shower, this sounds like a lot of money to expect her to lay out, and it also sounds like there’s not a lot of warm feeling and gratitude coming from you.
I’m sorry, I know you’re not going to like to hear this, but being involved in your wedding sounds like a bit of a nightmare. There are lots of cute flower girl dresses out there. Does it have to be exactly this one? If you really love it and it does have to be that one, then can you be flexible on something else, like the shoes?
It’s fine to want to have a say in how things look on your wedding day, but micromanaging all the details seems like a great way to make everyone unhappy, yourself included, and you would do well to be a little more sensitive to her budget. Ultimately, what matters most? The flower girl dress, the shoes, the wedding pictures – or the friendship?
Post # 7
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
You want the dress – it’s your wedding – you should pay for the dress. Then you get what you want. Otherwise if you want your bridesmaid to pay for it you are going to have to listen to her opinion and get a dress she is comfortable with – it may be your wedding but it’s her money!
Post # 8
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
Wait a second Don’t judge me. Get your facts strait.
Expensive hotel- all hotels booked only one available on our wedding day. We had no choice. We didn’t want something that expensive. It took us weeks to find a hotel because they were all booked. We almost didn’t think we would be able to get one. But no one has to stay their if they don’t want to. It is an option. But all I get is grief because its expensive, when it was hell just to find.
Shower- Mother-in-law did the shower and is paying for it. Has nothing to do with me. I didn’t ask for it, she wanted to do it for me and her son.
Shoes- Yes they have to wear the same shoes, that they get to pick out and at any cost they pick.
Flower Girl Dress- I never said this before, but the flower girls mom is the one who showed me the dress. She is the one who actually brought the dress to my attention and started to think about it. Then agreed to get it.
Not a lot of gratitude from me, I’ve done nothing but bend over backwards for them and give them everything they wanted. I’m doing everything for them. I’m buying them gifts upon gifts I’m giving them a whole spa day before the wedding. All I get is fighting for everything I want from the day I ask to be my bridesmaid. Not even wanting to ride in the limo with me. Fighting over the bridesmaids dresses. Every choice I make. Every choice my mother-in-law makes. Brides should have the right to be able to make some dessions in their weddings and not have to center everything around their bridesmaids. Yes consider them, but the wedding is not centered around them.
Post # 9
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
@Sammy86: I got my Flower Girl dresses from here: http://www.flowergirldressforless.com/
The came in days and were just wonderful.
At this point, if she is unwilling to buy anything online and if the dress does not come in on time from DB, then the Flower Girl will have to be replaced.
That’s the ultimatum to the Bridesmaid or Best Man. Tell her you need her “help” trying to figure out an option for her daughter since the dress was not purchased in a timely manner. She needs to find a dress or the Flower Girl will have to go.
Post # 10
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
@LuvMySailor: Thanks for the website!!! I’ve only had a chance to look quickly and it looks great.
Post # 11
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
I liked the website, but I started with websites that she would know, Sears and Burlington Coat Facotry, with the problems above. I kept the dresses I picked under $60. I gave her 3 options to start with and said we need to get it ordered by the end of the weekend since the wedding is less then 8 weeks away and I have a ton of other stuff to deal with and I don’t have time to go deal with picking out a new dress again for the next few weeks since we were suppose to get a dress 4 months ago. I also told her that I really didn’t like any of the DB dresses. Because I didn’t like any of the DB dresses, I got a text message back saying she would be gone all weekend and then I can buy the $160 dress if I want it. Obviously I worded the email differently and wasn’t so blunt. I’m tring to work with her budget. Yes, I complained and bitched on here, but I didn’t to her. I kept that all to myself. I don’t like DB dresses I kept the dresses at her price range. I’m beyond pissed that it has taken 4 months to get a flower girl dress and the only reason I’m finding all this out is because I asked a question. I’m pissed she agreed to get a dressed she wasn’t comfortable getting, when we could of kept looking for a dress when communion dresses were out. I’m pissed she told me to buy the dress she agreed to buy. I’m pissed she doesn’t care at all about my wedding, 4 months to get a flower girl dress, come on. My engagement is only 6 months. Oh, did I mention she is my Maid/Matron of Honor. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but where is the line as a bride that you just keep taking it all and where you just cut it and tell her you’ll find someone else who’ll actually be honored to do it.
Post # 12
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
I honestly think you need to calm down because you’re kind of freaking out a little bit. We’re talking about flower girl dresses, not your dress or her dress or anything of the sort. This is a minor detail. You will still be married even without a flower girl in a proper dress.
Post # 13
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
If you really want the child in a particular dress, you should have bought it from the first website that was cheaper and then followed up with the mother for reimbursement of your money.
In my case I wanted a really special dress for my Flower Girl that matched mine, so I just bought it myself. I considered it part of the cost of having a fancy wedding.
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