(Closed) Bridesmaid not buying her dress

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Don’t fire her, but you’re right- if she fails to have the dress in time she has effectively removed herself from the wedding party.

Post # 4
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes, you need to say something to her. I would put all the other stuff in the past and just worry about the dress. Call her up and just simply say “Can you call and order your dress today? If you don’t then it will not be in on time.” See what she says and handle it from there. Just be prepared for her to have some excuse as to why she hasn’t ordered it and possibly back out of your wedding.

Post # 5
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

It seems like she has been given plenty of chances to prove herself a good bridesmaid, and has failed everytime.  Remember that this is YOUR wedding, not hers.  You already changed your dress choice to accommodate her and she still complained.  She bailed on something that was important to you and doesn’t want to talk about it.  She seems very selfish and only looking for a chance to “be a bridesmaid” without actually doing any of the work that is involved with being a true bridesmaid.  In my opinion, it is definitely time to ask her to step down.  I had to do this with one of my bridesmaids…she wasn’t going to buy the dress or help with the costs of anything and I was only tipped off because her sister is my matron of honor and told me I needed to talk to her. It is just completely rude and inconsiderate! I grew up with this girl and she was supposed to be my maid of honor…but, instead of coming to me directly and saying she was having money problems (if she did, I likely would have offered to help her), she just wasn’t going to say anything at all.

Sometimes people are just selfish and are scared to admit they are having difficult times, etc. But, it is not fair to you or the rest of the BM’s that are working hard for her to just do nothing….especially if she doesn’t have her dress!

It is definitely time to say something to her…maybe just start with a simple, “unfortunately, because you did not order your dress on time, there is no way it will be in in time for the wedding…I am going to have to ask you to step down.” I am sure once she reads that, the discussion will open up to other things and you will find out the underlying reasons she is not being a good BM! But, it is time to broach the subject – it is not worth the stress it will cause you to keep her in and keep wondering if she is going to come through.


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