(Closed) Bridesmaid not paying for dress???

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Not knowing her financial situation, I’d say don’t expect to get the money back and move on. If she does eventually pay you back, consider it a nice surprise.

Post # 5
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Honestly, I would say don’t get her a gift for being a bridesmaid and if she asks why, just tell her you paid for her dress.

Post # 6
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

How old is FSIL? My Future Sister-In-Law still hasn’t ordered her dress (ahh, the last one to do so!) But she’s on the younger side, 23. So I just casually mentioned this to Future Mother-In-Law, who then flipped out on FSIL! And wa la–all done! I agree with Ejoy though–don’t hold your breath! You may never see that $$ again…It’s not fair, but it’s true.

Give her a phone call!

Post # 7
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Have you talked to your fiance about it?

Post # 8
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I did the same as VirginaMarie suggested.  My Future Sister-In-Law was supposed to come shopping with me and all my out of town bridesmaids, but called the day before to say she didn’t think she had money to order a dress right now (4 months before the wedding, so we really couldn’t wait much longer), so she wasn’t coming.  I totally had my fiance rat her out to their mom. 

We offered her for us to either cover it until she could come up with the money, or that her mom would just pay for it.

Post # 9
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I wouldn’t start worrying too much yet. Two weeks is well within the span of time that a person might put off something they intend to take care of, but would rather not think about. Especially if she “isn’t the type to send emails,” I would not at all be surprised not to have received a thank-you email. It was definitely more than two weeks before I heard anything after I emailed Future Sister-In-Law to tell her that I had ordered her dress and asked for her to send me a check, and even then, it wasn’t she who wrote, it was Future Mother-In-Law saying that she would be the one to send a check. (FSIL is still in college). I wouldn’t say I’m close to Future Sister-In-Law either, but I do respect and love her, these things just aren’t always immediate concerns to people who aren’t planning a wedding. Try a polite reminder email and then ask your Fiance to give her a call.

Post # 11
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

It sounds like you only invited her to be part of the Bridal Party because she asked you to help with her wedding.  She may be feeling awkward that you even asked since you’re not that close.  Maybe she feels imposed on?  If so, she should have declined the invite to even BE a Bridesmaid or Best Man…(did you formally ask her, or did you assume and tell her she would be one?).  Just some thoughts.

Post # 13
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I agree with the commentor who said that if she doesn’t pay for her dress, don’t get her a gift and say you paid for her dress. 

Also, have you considered calling her?  Just to say, “Did you get my email?  FYI, my CC bill is due so if you could pay me back, that would be great.” I know I need my Fiance to nag me 5-6 times before I pay our credit card bill on time – I’m just never in the right place at the right time. 

She also may not think that this was that nice of you to do – I mean, to anybody who is financially well off, fronting a couple hundred dollars because you didn’t want to wait for her and her busy schedule to give you her CC info (which she may not have been comfortable doing anyway, but she should have said something), and you wanted to or had to place the order right away, it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.  I would have acknowledged the email, definitely, but I’m not sure a thank you would have felt necessary if I intended to pay you back and didn’t see it as a huge burden on you to do it….

So what I’m saying is cut her some slack and see if she pays you back sometime in the next 7 months. 

Post # 14
169 posts
Blushing bee

Well I would not worry about that money. Just see it as a good deed done by you to keep the peace. Why people accept and then are not gracious about it and involved is beyond me… I doubt she will participate in anything. I would send her another email, call her and send her the bill all within the same week. She probably will not respond (btw is she married? older? maybe she is bitter?) , but at least you tried and she will KNOW that she owed you for the dress. After that I would not worry, who cares, it is your special day and you shouldn’t let this stress you out. I also would just not invite her to any bridal activities etc. And if she asks why say, “Well, I do not know how to get it touch with you”.


Post # 15
169 posts
Blushing bee

I also think you never should have bought her dress, you should have given her a deadline and if she did not respond or purchase it by that date, then just moved ahead with your wedding party plans… 

Post # 16
169 posts
Blushing bee

Haha sorry I just read all of your posts, I think she is probably having a personal problem. I would wait one month, THEN try to contact her regarding it again and just see whats up… if she does not reply just do not give her a gift and go on about your business! 

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