Post # 1
My best friend is a bridesmaid in my upcoming wedding. She is not a girly person in the slightest (I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen her in a dress outside of a school uniform, she never wears makeup, she didn’t own a pair of high heels until I asked her to be in the wedding, etc) and I wasn’t expecting her to change who she is just because I’m getting married – I love her for the person she is and wouldn’t ever want her to change. However, she did know from the get go that I was expecting her to look nice – not just rock up in her tracky pants and a beanie like she normally would. She was happy to wear a dress and was the first person to okay the one I eventually picked. I asked all the bridesmaids to wear black shoes of their choosing – I could care less whether they’re flats, heels, wedges, whatever – so she went out and bought a pair of low heels. She is getting her hair done on the day by the hair stylist and is even growing it out for the style she has in mind (I don’t care how they have their hair).
Then there’s the makeup. She had originally asked her mother (a trained MUA but is no longer working in the industry) to do it, but her mother got the dates mixed up and will now be on holidays the day of the wedding. She sent me a panicked text message, as she is not at all confident in doing her own makeup and doesn’t even own any so she would have to go out and buy it all. I tried to get her in with my MUA but she is booked out, so I managed to get her an appointment at the same salon as my Future Sister-In-Law (also a bridesmaid). Everything seemed to be fine. Then, I saw my best friend on the weekend and she mentioned she was rethinking having her makeup done at all. When I asked why, she said it’s because she’s going to cry and has a tendency to rub at her face when she does. I didn’t really know what to say (and I’ll admit I was a little annoyed, particularly as I’d done some running around to get her in somewhere after her mother fell through) so I just encouraged her to call the salon and speak with them about her concerns.
I saw my Future Sister-In-Law yesterday and mentioned this to her. I said that I thought my best friend should be wearing at least some makeup, as she’s going to be in a lot of photos and shiny/red/blotchy skin is just not a good look. My Future Sister-In-Law agreed with me and said that she should be wearing foundation/concealer/powder at the minimum just to smooth out her skin. My other FSILs (who are not bridesmaids) and my Future Mother-In-Law were in complete agreeance. I am a bit worried about saying anything to my best friend, as I already know that she’s not 100% comfortable with being a bridesmaid but she’s doing it for me and I don’t want to upset her or cause her to back out. Is it really too much to ask that she puts some foundation/concealer/powder on? I don’t care if she does it herself, has someone else do it for her or pays someone to do it. Any advice on how to proceed from here?
Post # 2
JessieFay13 : She will look just as fabulous without makeup. Maybe ask her to go for a lip gloss or something, but don’t expect a lot from her. I never wear makeup in my daily life and barely had any on for my wedding either. I put some on for my best friend’s wedding and immediately washed it off, I hated it so much. I was not washed out in photos, I didn’t look drab or blotchy, I looked great (if I say so myself, lol). She will, too. If blotchy skin is a real concern, that’s easy as pie to photoshop out (if you won’t offend her by doing so). Smeary makeup isn’t a good look either.
If she personally wants to and is concerned about her own appearance, suggest she stop by a Sephora or Avon and just get a little helping hand for how to do quick and easy light makeup – she’d probably find it’s not that intimidating. Whacking your face with some powder foundation isn’t difficult – that’s all I did, plus mascara, shadow (directions on box at Target) and gloss.
Post # 3
JessieFay13 : “I don’t care if she does it herself, has someone else do it for her or pays someone to do it.”
Maybe that’s just poorly worded, but you should be offering to pay!
I think you should try to convince her to wear some light makeup, and offer to pay. That said, if she has no makeup it’s not the end of the world.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman
Yeah I think it’s asking too much. You are asking her to stand up with you because she’s your best friend, not because of how she will enhance your photos. She never wears makeup and doesn’t own any, that’s who she is. Why is there no worry about the groomsmen’s skin being red and blotchy in the photos if that’s your real concern here?
Post # 5
I dont think theres going to be a good way to tell her she should wear makeup.
The nicest thing you could do would be to offer to pay for her makeup to be done. That way, you are encouraging her subtly to get her makeup done. And then if she declines it, my advice would be to let it go. Shes already doing the hair, heels and dress so I think she put in more than her fair share of effort towards your wedding.
Post # 6
You say she’s your best friend so to me that means the coversation shouldn’t be be too hard but it’s all in way you say/ask her.
I would think she’d want to look her best for your day so hopefully she won’t fight you too much on makeup.
Post # 7
I’m not sure if the salon you have in mind for her does this, but I’ve had airbrush makeup done before, and it stayed on my face all day even though I sweat, cried, rubbed my face, etc, so that can be an option for her.
The other thing you can do is take her to ulta or sephora or another makeup store to have them match her color and then she will know what type of foundation/powder to get. It would be nice if you would be able to purchase this for her though since she likely won’t wear it again after your wedding.
Post # 8
You say you love her no matter what or you don’t care how she looks– so please let her be comfortable and leave her alone about the make up. You are so worried about your pictures? What about your friend? Isn’t she more important?
Please stop talking about her behind her back, too.
Post # 9
Can’t you or another bridesmaid just do it for her? Won’t take long and she won’t feel as uncomfortable. Just some foundation or bb cream, mascara and girl is done. Nbd.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
Sorry, totally on her side. Its already a stretch for her to do the girly dressing up thing please don’t make her also get her face done simply bc you want photos that you feel should look a certain way. That should be her choice, if she’s fine with splotchy skin then I dont see the issue.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
My Maid/Matron of Honor decided last minute to dye her hair bright blue (which kind of looked odd with the emerald green bridesmaid dresses). I also had a bridesmaid decide to wear ‘whore-red’ lipstick and a REALLY gaudy necklace without consulting me. My other bridesmaid wore pasties that had a VERY visible outline through her dress.
I love my girls, so I bit my tongue.
Post # 12
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
I know this isn’t at all what you’re implying, but I’m putting it out there as a possible response to you asking her to wear makeup if she opts not to. Do you think she normally looks like crap in photos? No? Then why would she not look nice in yours? Again, not saying that that is the message you are trying to send, but it could be the message that is received.
Talk to her about it, but if she’s really not comfortable I wouldn’t push it. If you accept her as she is every other day, and she’s already doing a lot to be in line with the looks you want, I would maybe let this one go. If anything your photographer can touch her up in the photos if need be.
Post # 13
aussiemum1248 : lilyflowers : I have 3 other bridesmaids whose makeup I am not paying for. 1 of them is using my MUA at her own cost, another is going to a salon that she goes to regularly and the third is doing her own. I think offering to pay for my best friend now is a little unfair to the other girls…
monkey89 : The thing is, I don’t want to upset her. And I don’t want it to be an argument.
If she had come out from the beginning and said that she didn’t want to wear makeup, I would have dealt with it then. It’s now 4 weeks til my wedding and she keeps changing her mind, which I’m finding incredibly frustrating and stressful. She was happy to have her makeup done up until last week as far as I was aware, so I’m not sure what has caused her to change her mind now. But thank you for all your responses, I was originally going to just let it go (if she wears makeup great, if she doesn’t so be it) but then my in-laws got me thinking about it again.
Post # 14
I love makeup and I believe if it’s done correctly, it can be comfortable and convenient for everyone. Her main concern is because she doesn’t want it run off when she is crying or while rubbing her eyes so maybe just a nuetral eyeshadow with waterproof mascara and a nice sheer foundation and some matte lip stick. I think it will help give the appearance of looking done up but it will also be fairly light and not too obvious if she does happen to cry and rub it off.
Post # 15
palebluepetals : I only mentioned it to my Future Sister-In-Law because she told me she was going to get in touch with my best friend soon so that they could carpool to the salon on the day of the wedding. It was more of a heads up that she may not actually be getting her makeup done anymore. My other FSILs and Future Mother-In-Law happened to be in the room at the time. Don’t really see that as talking about her behind her back, but to each their own.
lifeisbeeutiful : She doesn’t want to wear any makeup, it wouldn’t matter who applied it. I did offer to do it for her if she was uncomfortable about going to the salon, but she’s worried that she’ll rub half of it off if she cries and it’ll look bad.
valencia247 : Unfortunately, the salon doesn’t offer airbrushing. I am by no means a makeup expert myself, which is why I encouraged her to ring the salon directly and speak with them about her concerns as they’ll be able to give her far better suggestions than I ever could.
To answer everyone else, no I don’t think my friend looks crap in photos. She looks like herself. She admittedly doesn’t take very good care of her skin, so I’m worried that she’ll see the professional photos after and not be happy with how she looks (she didn’t wear makeup to one of our school formals and hated every single professional shot because, in her words, her pores looked huge and her face looked sunburned). Again, I don’t want to upset her or imply something that I completely do not intend to. I think I’ve decided that I won’t bring it up with her again; if she comes to me about it, I’ll tell her my opinion but will ultimately leave it up to her.