(Closed) Bridesmaid now doesn't want to wear makeup – advice?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
279 posts
Helper bee

I think the best thing to do is let it go.  She is clearly uncomfortable (maybe she didn’t realize how uncomfortable it would make her until recently).  I would say “if you change your mind about wearing makeup, me or one of the other girls can put a little on you while we are getting ready, but only if you want”.  Doing it herself is probably not an option because if you never wear makeup, you probably don’t even know where to begin.  If she doesn’t wear any she will still look nice in the pictures. Is it possible for your photographer to do a little editing if she does look red or shiny?

Post # 17
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

You don’t sound like you’re being a very good friend. Why would you tell your in laws about this, let alone let their opinion about your friend change your mind? That’s horrible! Would you tell her ‘well so and so said it’s a bad idea and you should do this’? No? Then don’t do it! 

Stop trying to pretend like your concern is for your friend. Your updates seem like you’re trying to backtrack. Your very first post says YOU don’t want her red/shiny in pictures. You are caring more about your photos than your supposed best fiend! Just let it be. If she gets makeup done great, if not let it go. It isn’t going to ruin your wedding. If all else fails and her natural face ruins your photos, I’m sure your photog can do some edits.

Post # 18
Member
6887 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Let it go and let your friend be herself makeup or no makeup.

Post # 19
Member
3435 posts
Sugar bee

Alicia Keys doesn’t wear makeup on The Voice. Don’t force your bridesmaid to wear it, it’s not necessary, and photographs won’t be ruined. You asked her to stand up for you because of who she is, not how she looks.

Post # 20
Member
7418 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

It’s  her face and her decision.

Post # 22
Member
286 posts
Helper bee

Maybe just ask her to compromise. Some bb cream to smooth her skin, waterproof mascara and lipstick/lipgloss. Tell her if she cries and it smudges it’s perfectly fine and not to worry. Let her know how much you care for her as a friend and how much you appreciate her being in your wedding. If she’s super uncomfortable and just can do it really it’s not a huge deal in the end. 

Post # 23
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I actually admire her confidence and her freedom from make-up. I feel so fugly without it I rarely leave the house with out it, and I hate that about myself. I wish I didn’t want or feel like I need it! I vote let her go however she wants. If she’s genuinely intrested in a pro MUA and you wanna pay, sure. But if she’s happy going “naked” more power to her. I’d actually encourage her to do so.

Post # 24
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Also, this: “my Fiance and I are spending a lot of money on our photos so of course we want them to look good”… has NOTHING to do with her wearing make-up. If you think it does, then are are in fact saying it’s going to “ruin” things if she doesn’t. Which is ridiculous. If you paid good money, and got a good photog, her lack of make-up can’t “ruin” a thing. You aren’t doing her a favor by pushing the issue. You aren’t saving her from hating how she looks in your wedding pics (which you have to remember she cares less about, than you do). She’s an adult. She knows what she looks like with out make-up. Let it go. Let her be her. 

Post # 25
Member
3169 posts
Sugar bee

If everyone in the photos must wear foundation/concealer/powder as an uneven skintone isn’t a “good look”, are your fiancé and his/her wedding party also all wearing it?  Your father in law, who presumably is one of the in laws mentioned who have a problem with her choice? Perhaps whoever is doing all of their make up can assist her? 

In any case you need to give yourself a talking to OP. This friend has already bent over backwards for you. She bought a dress, bought shoes, is getting her hair done – all for you and all at her own cost, I assume. Relax. Your photos aren’t going to be ruined. She’s an adult and can decide if she wants make up or not and justifying your angst by saying “but she doesn’t like photos where she’s not wearing make up” and all the rest of it is very transparent.  

Post # 27
Member
265 posts
Helper bee

If she is happy with how her face looks without makeup, you should be too. If she isn’t worried about how her face will look in pictures, you shouldn’t be either. 

Please, let this one go. 

Post # 28
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

She’s only going to be in a handful of your photos anyway. Honestly, it’s mostly photos of you and your Fiance.

I don’t wear make up except when I’m really feeling fancy, so maybe twice a year. I think you shouldn’t worry about this so much like you said, leave it up to her. If she brings it up at all (which I doubt) then you can discuss her options.

Too much else to worry about with only a few weeks left!

Post # 29
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee

A good photographer should be able to touch up her skin enough that it won’t stick out in photos. The only thing that can really ruin photos is if people are uncomfortable or in a bad mood. I think the advice to let this go is great.

Post # 30
Member
626 posts
Busy bee

JessieFay13 :  It is too much to ask. Is your Fiance a guy? If so, I’m assuming he won’t be wearing foundation or powder and that your photos with him will be just fine.

I’d let this one go and give your friend credit for not feeling pressured to wear it. It’s easy to feel like you “have” to wear makeup, but it really is just a choice. I think happiness matters way more in photos than level of makeup.

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