(Closed) Bridesmaid now doesn't want to wear makeup – advice?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
1747 posts
Bumble bee

If your friend had a tattoo would you request that she cover it?  If you would not insist that someone cover their tattoo which is obvious in photos, and a reflection of who they are, then why would you insist on someone wearing makeup – when she is more comfortable in her skin without it? 


Post # 32
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I was my best friend’s Maid/Matron of Honor last year and when we were discussing hair and makeup I opted to get my hair done and not do makeup. I never wear it, so I didn’t want to pay for it especially on a day when I’m worrying about other things and it could get smudged. In the end my friend offered to pay for my makeup so I had it done. I have no idea why she offered, maybe it was because all the other bridesmaids had it done, not sure. I don’t think she paid for everyone’s just mine. I think you could do the same without anyone knowing.

Either way, this is a conversation you should have with her and it shouldn’t come from the place of “I really want you to wear makeup,” but instead from the place of “hey if you’d like to have your makeup done and are worried about cost how about I cover a basic treatment.”

I’m a little concerned with how you’ve brought up a couple times how her having uneven skin could make your photos less nice. My guess is when you look at your photos you’ll think “hey there’s my awesome friend and me on one of the happiest days of my life,” not “hey there’s my friend with the blotchy skin.” I doubt you will notice her complexion at all on the day or looking back via photos or memories. What you would remember more (if you pressure your friend into wearing makeup) is her being uncomfortable on your special day.

Post # 33
3169 posts
Sugar bee

JessieFay13 :  I am sorry about your FIL’s passing. You mentioned in laws so I assumed you meant your fiancé’s parents. My mistake.

But my question/suggestion remains. Are the men getting their skin tone evened out/having powder applied for your photos? If so perhaps the MUA doing that can also put some on your friend. If not I don’t understand why having one more person forgo make up is something to worry about.

I’m pleased to hear you paid for their dresses. It’s the minimum a bride can do IMO but apparently is regional. I still think your friend has been a good sport in supporting your dress choice, buying special shoes, planning to get her hair done, and considering getting her make up done even if she does eventually wish not to. I feel like my saying that upset you so I am sorry if it did. 

Post # 34
300 posts
Helper bee

‘Thanks for dragging [your dead FIL] into this’ – that’s a pretty juvenile response. The PP’s post had nothing to do wtih your dead Father-In-Law specifically, it was just an example. Will your FH wear makeup too? Not very surprising though, the whole thread is childish. If you’re so concerned about your friend’s uneven skin ruining your expensive photos, don’t have her as a bridesmaid. That would seem a logical response if you consider it is logical to make her wear makeup.

Post # 35
1945 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Well as someone who never wears foundation and didn’t consider it even for my own wedding I do think full coverage makeup is asking a bit much.

I think some concealer, touch of (waterproof?)mascara, something on the lip, and if shiny some powder just nose/T-zone should be good. 

Post # 36
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I hate wearing foundation it makes my skin feel like shit. I didn’t even wear it on my wedding day I wore a tinted moisturiser. I suggest you and her have a shopping day take her to a department store and then treat her too a tinted moisturiser, some powder and a mascara. That’s really all she needs. Your the one with the problem about her face not her so you should be buying it. I tell you what I would be pissed if my friend turned around and said I really need you to wear makeup for my wedding. It’s pretty much saying natural you is ugly put something on it. 

Post # 37
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

You are not receiving the replies you expected / wanted to hear and now seem a little defensive which is perfectly normal. Take a step back, breathe and think about if it is important enough for you that your friends wear make up to make her feel uncomfortably about it and possibly even insecure.

Post # 38
2146 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I too am wondering if your fiance is in on the ‘everyone must wear foundation to not look crap’ thing… I dont know about you but I certainly couldnt get my fiance, father or the best men to wear foundation

unfortunatly your attituide is nothing but sexist… girls dont need to wear make up just as boys can wear make up, its all about free choice and your friends choice is not too and you get no say in that

Post # 39
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Eh, I think if she normally doesn’t wear it, then it can be a big ask.  I understand the importance and how it might just be foundation, but it’s her face. She’s already wearing a dress and out of her comfort zone because your wedding is important to her, makeup is a personal thing. If you are paying for it and want it to be done then you could tell her this and explain the importance. I’m sure as a friend she may understand, but I wouldn’t press it. Maybe on the day of when she sees others getting/having make up she might feel more comfortable as part of the group to have some applied perhaps she’s nervous about it since she’s not familiar, and I worry pushing it or having her agree to having it done in advance will make her upset. Maybe let her know that an experienced person will be on hand that day, and if she’s up for it that day, you’d love to see her experience it, even if just foundation. 

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