Post # 1
So one of my bridesmaids has emailed ( we live in different countries) me this morning, with a huge explanation as to why she can not be in my wedding, I shed a few tears and am a bit gutted but I completely understand where she is coming from.
I was Having 3 BM’s, now I have 2. I had origionally wanted 4 but couldnt financially stretch to cover the cost involved ( as all 3 BM’s live in a different country we were paying for all their expenses except the flights)
So now I am deciding whether or not to “replace” (ugh I hate that word) Bridesmaid or Best Man #3 with the other girl I had wanted to ask before we settled on 3 BM’s.
This other girl actually lives in the same city as me so she wouldnt need to pay travel costs, and she even came to help me choose my dress as my bridal party couldnt. She did that as a good friend not even knowing I wanted her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man but couldnt. thats the type of friend she is.
Wedding is 6 months away, what would you do?
Post # 3
Hi fellw aussie bee =)
I tend towards the less bridesmaids the less drama you will have, but this girl sounds like she is a good friend. I guess the biggest thing is to make sure you’re not asking her just to even out the numbers. If you want her with you on the day and in all your wedding photos, go for it!
Maybe think on it for a few days before you make your decision. Good luck =)
Post # 4
Thanks @Missy star
I did want her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man but went with the one who has now pulled out as she is my closest cousin,
I was planning on asking this friend to do a reading, and she is important to me, Im just not sure on the ettiquite of it all, Ive read a few posts on here that say replacing a bridesmaid can be offensive to the replacement! …that hadnt even occured to me!
Post # 5
@NearlyMrsRad: I think she would be honoured to be honest, especially if you explain to her you would have loved to have her from the start but unfortunately finances didn’t allow but things have changed and you’d love her to be involved. I would defs understand and i’m sure she will appreciate it. Maybe think of a cute way to ask her
Post # 6
She sounds like a nice person… very considerate friend.
I’d ask her, 6 months lead time is still enough so as to to appear NOT as a complete after-thought.
Let us know how it turns out,
PS… If the others are ALL relatives, you can tell her that was your first priority… family first. Now you’d love if she was there as your BFF.
Post # 7
If she is a good friend I would go with what Missy_Star said….I wouldn’t be concerned about being offensive to the Bridesmaid or Best Man who pulled out, especially if you had an even number of Groomsmen and Bridesmaid or Best Man (what was your Fiance supposed to do drop a GM?)
Does she know that one of your Bridesmaid or Best Man pulled out?
Post # 8
Just explain the situation and ask her. I wouldn’t mind if a bride asked me if somebody dropped out. The worst that can happen is that she declines!
Post # 9
I think you should ask her. I am just afraid that she might take it the wrong way and actually do feel like she is the “second pick”. I would talk to her and choose your words carefully so there isn’t drama.
Post # 10
Thanks for all the advice gals!
@This Time Round:
Well Bridesmaid or Best Man 3 that pulled out is my cousin which Is why I asked her over this other friend, so do you think I should mention that- I mean to I mention that I wanted her as a bridesmaid from the begining? ( the other 2 BM’s are my 2 best friends from home- I have been living overseas for 2 years)
If I asked this friend it would mean that the 3 people I have next to me are my Very Best friend, My oldest Best friend and my Newest Boyfriend or Best Friend !