(Closed) Bridesmaid or personal attendant – family (a bit long)

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Would you ask her to be:
    Bridesmaid : (5 votes)
    56 %
    Personal Attendant : (2 votes)
    22 %
    Other - please comment : (2 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I know personal attendants are regional, so if they’re common in your circle I suppose its fine… But my personal opinion of them is they’re a cop-out.  You give them all the ‘responsibilities’ of a bridesmaid, and none of the glory.  

    If you want her as a bridesmaid, ask her.  If not, being a guest is just as much of an honor.

    Post # 4
    Member
    7739 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Sorry if this is a rude question, but if you’ve already got bridesmaids, what does a personal attendant do and why do you need one?

    Post # 5
    Member
    2385 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think it’s fine to have her in a lesser role. It sounds like, that with her new marriage and child, she may not have time to fulfill the responsibilities expected of a Bridesmaid or Best Man anyhow. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    986 posts
    Busy bee

    Same question as paula1248, I’ve actually never heard of that before!

    Post # 7
    Member
    2425 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    It does seem like the personal attendant thing is regional. Personally (since it’s not done in my region) I would probably be insulted if I was asked to be a personal attendant for someone. It feels to me that you want me to be your slave, without even giving me the honor of being part of the wedding party. I very well might tell someone no if they asked me, if I’m not in the wedding party, I’d rather attend the wedding as a normal guest.

    Post # 10
    Member
    7739 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @RP7:  I think if you were her Maid/Matron of Honor then you should at least make her a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

    Besides, I’m still not sure a PA is needed. e.g. My BMs did my dress and emergency kit (I think the kit was carried by the husband of one of the BMs); while corsages were organised at the start of the day. But if you do have one, I don’t think your cousin is the right person, seeing as she had you as Maid/Matron of Honor.

    Post # 12
    Member
    7739 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If you think you’ve got enough BMs, how about asking her to do a reading? It’s a nice prominent role, and only takes a couple of minutes. (Which might suit a busy young mom). I only had 2 BMs (because Darling Husband only had 2 GMs). My 3rd choice was an older mentor-type woman who might have been uncomfortable as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, so doing a reading fitted her well.

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