(Closed) Bridesmaid out…..keep the dress?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Where is the dress now?  Does she have it, or has it not yet arrived?

Post # 4
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010 - Mr. P's Grandparents’ Ranch

I am wondering the same thing too, where is the dress at this moment?

Post # 5
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Depending on where the dress is, I would tell her to pick the money or the dress. But that’s just me.

Post # 6
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Why don’t you buy the dress from her? 

Post # 7
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Was there a deposit involved in the dress?  If there was, I would pay her the remainder but not the deposit. 

Post # 8
235 posts
Helper bee

Meet up w/ her and exchange the check for the dress in person, or have a friend or your Fiance do it…

Post # 10
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

i would meet her up to do an exchange

Post # 11
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

If things ended that poorly and I wasn’t planning on remaining friends with her, I’d tell her “sorry you purchased the dress and it is your actions that has caused you to be kicked out of this bridal party and I will not pay you for it”.

She’s negative and unsupportive….are you going to remain her friend? Or not? If you want to mend a friendship and think it’s worth your money, that’s one thing. If you’re just too pissed, then screw her.

I’d also return the gift. I’d leave it on her doorstep actually, with a note….

When I end things with people, I END things. Just depends on what you think/want/are willing to salvage.

Post # 12
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

See if you can meet up with her and pay for the dress, but make her give it to you.  That way you get the dress and she can’t use it to get a double recovery. 

Whether you take the gift back is sort of separate, I think.  She might take that as a further insult. 

Worse comes to worse, mabe you could get your Fiance to do the actual exchange? 

Post # 13
41 posts
  • Wedding: May 2018

Why give her a free dress for being an unsupportive friend? If you give her money, you should expect to get the dress from her. If she wants to keep the dress, then I don’t think you owe her anything.

Moving forward… If (when!) you get the dress, you could re-sell it, or even use the fabric for matching custom details in your decor! (sashes, headbands, ring bearer pillow, etc.)

Sorry you’re having to deal with this. Good luck!

Post # 14
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with the other ladies.  If you are paying her then you should receive the dress in return. 

If you have no use for the dress you can always donate it to charity or resell it. 

As far as the gift, depending what kind of friendship is salvagable determines if I would return it or not


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