Post # 1
I all of my BMs pick their own grey dress. There were a few parameters: not shiny, not patterned, cocktail to tea length, etc. but generally have been extremely liberal in what I have allowed. If they like it, I am happy. However, my Maid/Matron of Honor picked a business suit dress. It looks cute on her, but it’s for a business lunch or something. I know because I own a very similar dress in black that I wear to the office.
She had a difficult time locating a dress because she didn’t want to order a bridesmaid dress and didn’t want to spend much at all. Last Monday, she showed me the dress and she was upset when I pointed out that it was business dress. I said she could wear it if she really wanted to, but she said she would look for something new. However, I don’t think she’s going to look. I guess it’s okay, but my dress and everyone else’s dress is very fancy. Should I press her or just let her wear it?
Post # 3
@paut0012: Have they all purchased their dresses? If not, you could tell them a theme for the dresses. Elegant, fun and flirty, sexy, formal, whatever would go with your wedding theme. I wouldn’t assume they know your vision unless they have been involved with all the planning. I told mine that I envisioned a Breakfast at Tiffany’s type look.
Post # 4
I would try to find her something better yourself – I’d want her to change it, but it doesn’t sound like she’s willing to make that effort.
Post # 5
Do you have a picture of this dress? Maybe she could dress it up a bit more using chunky jewelry?
Post # 6
I guess it depends on how much it bugs you? If it looks nice and meets all the requirements, then I’d probably let it go, but I’m pretty laid-back. And if you already told her she could wear it if she wants…… I say hope she gets something new, but don’t stress if she doesn’t. It’ll look fine.
Post # 7
It looks like this – http://www.zappos.com/product/7953921/color/275
Except that it is like this fabric except a lighter grey heather – http://www.calvinklein.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12646027′ defer=’defer
@MrsTimmy: Everyone else has purchased. There isn’t a certain look to the dresses except that they are all much more cocktail.
Post # 8
@paut0012: That’s honestly not as bad as I thought it was going to be. The ruffles ‘lighten the mood’ of it a bit.
Post # 9
@Button: I agree! Although I’m not sure what the others are wearing, it looks like a dress that you could lighten up with a clunky braclet or something.
Post # 10
Honestly I don’t think there is anything wrong with this dress for a bridesmaid. I was expecting something like a “power suit” with a proper blazer, but I’m letting my bridesmaids pick their own dresses (and asked them to stick to black, no less) and I’d be perfectly happy if one of them chose this dress.
It’s not as “businesslike” as you think, and if this is what she feels comfortable in— or feels will be more useful after the wedding— so be it.
If you’re worried about her not “matching” the theme of the rest of the group, consider picking out a bracelet or other jewelry for all of them, keeping in mind that if you request they wear a certain article, then you really should pay for it. For my bridesmaids, I bought two-tone taffeta shawls for each, and one for myself as well, burgundy on one side, pearl on the other. I got them at Light in the Box for about $20 each. That and a little jewelry will tie the look together no matter if one is very flowy and summery and another is more tailored and “business-like.”
Post # 11
Looks cocktail/bridesmaid-appropriate to me – and not something I’d be able to wear to the office.
Post # 12
I don’t understand. You gave a few parameters and the dress fits those requirements that you listed. She picked something that she will be comfortable wearing. In the end, that is what will come through on the day of your wedding. If she feels good she will look good. Maybe she could pick some jazzier accesories if you feel that it is not fancy enough.
If you had a particular theme or had a vision in your head than setting parameters without expressing that vision was a mistake. I’d let her wear whatever she is comfortable in.
Post # 13
I don’t think that looks like a business dress. I think that looks like a cocktail dress. It’s not overtly bridesmaid looking, but I do think it’s pretty. I was expecting something like a pantsuit (only the dress version), like in that episode of Say Yes to the Dress Bridesmaids where the bridesmaid’s partner kept insisting she wear a pantsuit lol. I can understand if everyone else picked something fancier then it wouldn’t fit. But that’s a little bit part of the problem if you let people choose their own dress or you don’t give more limited choices. The girls will pick what they like and feel comfortable in and not every dress style might match.
Post # 14
I have a dress like that that I wear to the office… I agree with OP and that I don’t think it’s dressy enough for a Bridesmaid or Best Man or a wedding, but I think you really limited them by not allowing shiny fabric.
Post # 15
I think the dress is great and fits the parameters you gave. 🙂
Post # 16
@Button: Yes I agree. I thought it would be plainer and more buttoned up. The ruffles make it more fun.
ETA: I do agree with OP that the dress is not something I would have chosen for a wedding and would chose it for work wear. However, it’s not too bad and I think will just sort of blend with the other BMs. Sort of like the chearleader effect.