(Closed) Bridesmaid plans on being in Two Weddings the same day?! ( a bit long)

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 32
Member
5104 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Kateski: Wow. This is insane. And for her to think that she can passive aggressively post the issue on FB without even coming to you….not cool. She needs to grow a pair and talk to you like a real woman, like a real friend should. And she should have already told Bride numero dos that she already had a prior engagement and she would have to decline. I’m not sure I would want someone like this in my wedding at all at this point. Sounds like more drama than it’s worth. 

People! ugh!

Post # 33
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

wow… I’d be furious!  I completely agree with other posters who have said to give her a timeline that you expect all your bm’s to be there for and if she can’t agree to it, then it’s time to get your bridezilla on and tell her that if she can’t commit to those times, then she needs to choose which wedding to be in.  

I’m just stunned that she actually thinks that is ok…. and for you to find out on facebook!  omg. 

Post # 34
Member
6392 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I can’t believe she would even think that was okay! Halfway through the thread I had my fingers crossed that her friend’s was insanely early and yours was really late, but for them to be just a few hours apart? How can the other bride even be okay with that since she probably won’t be able to make pre-ceremony photos?

I’m usually an agreeable person, but I would go crazy on her if I were you. It sounds like you’ve been lovely throughout this entire process: Now is the time to tap your inner bridezilla. I’m guessing since it sounds like she’s already bought the dress for your wedding, she’ll pick yours anyway.

If you want to be nice about it, you could just calmly explain that you want to spend the whole wedding with your BMs, and that it’s not very fair to you to have her skip out on you. But I would probably freak out on her if I were you :).

Post # 34
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i would make her choose. being a bridesmaid is an honor and a priviladge and if shes going to still try to do them both make her pay for her own hair and make up. its not fair for you to pay for makeup you only get to see half of…

Post # 35
Member
2857 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

9 times out of 10, when I read a post where someone has bridesmaid issues, I think to myself, “Oh, that’s not really a big deal.”

This is NOT one of those times. She agreed to be in your wedding first, and this is NOT okay for her to do. It’s even worse that you found out about it on Facebook.

I’d tell her that she has to choose one wedding or the other, but be prepared that she might not choose yours. And that would totally suck. And, if I was in your shoes, it might be a friendship-ender. Because that is a really shitty thing to do to someone. You asked her first, plain and simple. And she made a commitment to you, plain and simple.

On another note, I have to say (again) how much I hate the word “bridezilla.” You are not a bridezilla for expecting people to honor their commitments. You’re just a normal human being. 🙂

 

Post # 36
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

My mom had a bridesmaid be in another wedding on the same day.  It worked out great, and now is a fun story!  In her case, the bridesmaid missed some of the photo shoot in both weddings so that she could be in both ceremonies… The other bride’s wedding was earlier in the day so her photos with the bridesmaid would have been before the wedding… while in my mom’s case… her photos included her dear friend after the ceremony.  I know she would have totally missed having this friend in the wedding!  If the girl is a dear friend to both of you… then I think you need to plan on working it out…

Post # 37
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Your friend is wrong in this situation. You invited her to be a bridesmaid in your wedding and she gladly accepted. Then someone else wants her to be a bridesmaid on the same day and now she doesn’t know what to do. She sounds full of herself, who brags on facebook that they have been invited to be in two weddings on the same day and now needs advice? I will tell you who, an Attention Seeker.

If I were you I would tell her to choose, and be prepared for her to choose the other wedding. I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope everything works out. I would also tell your friend how you feel, how it shouldn’t have never come to this point, when she agreed to be in your wedding first.

Post # 39
Member
6392 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Kateski: Oy vey! I’m glad she isn’t trying to make both now, but she sounds like she’s going to be a pain to deal with :(.

Post # 40
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It sucks but you did the right thing. 

Post # 41
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@jo.lee: yea, I think so too…. I don’t think this is over by a long shot… Good Luck and i really hope things work out for the best…

Post # 42
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i hope she was being honest with you when she “decided” not to leave your wedding after all. her story changed so many times though, i’m inclined to not believe her.

Post # 43
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@kitzy: Well I am sure she will find out the truth on FB. The only way this girl seems to communicate.

Post # 44
Member
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ick, Sorry you had to go through all that to get a (hopefully) truthful answer. Bottom line is, she had a committment to your wedding long before the subject of another wedding came up, and she should have honored that committment from the start. I hope it all works out for you.

Post # 45
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee

Imo she doesn’t seem overly reliable…

The topic ‘Bridesmaid plans on being in Two Weddings the same day?! ( a bit long)’ is closed to new replies.

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