(Closed) Bridesmaid Problem

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

 I suspect that asking her to leave would just confirm every negative stereotype she has in her oh-poor-me mindset about selfish brides. (I’m not saying you’re being selfish — sounds like you’ve been quite thoughtful — just speculating on her reaction based on how you describe her).

Post # 4
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@soonergirl518:  You obviously asked her to be in your wedding for a reason. Probably because she is a good friend and you love her I would assume. It sounds like she is going through a sad phase right now and she could use a friend. I’m sure it’s very difficult watching all your close friends getting married, shelling out tons of money, and feeling lonely all at the same time. I wouldnt kick her out just because she is going through a rough time.

Post # 5
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think so, you deserve to be happy, to feel happy. Your already stressed enough with the wedding, and it sounds like she’s kinda making it harder for u. I’m having the same problem. My bridesmaid is married n is a terrible mariage. She’s always telling me to be careful cause once he says I do, hell expect u to be the ol’ ball and chain… I’ve never seen her like this! She’s always a happy person and lately I’ve seen the angry cussing person n it kinda idk makes me upset… I need her support n happy advice not the opposite :/

Post # 6
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This is tough.  I can see it from both sides.  I can see where you feel personally ‘attacked’ by her words, as she is complaining about ALL she has to do for these weddings, all the while thinking/believing she will never be a bride.  As a Bridesmaid or Best Man in your wedding, how can you not feel that she is more ‘annoyed’ than ‘excited’ for you?!

However, being/putting myself in her shoes at one time, she is still your friend (and I am assuming a great one at that, as she is in your wedding) who is calling you to vent/bitch/complain about her life as she knows it.  “Here I am, spending thousands on people, of which is hard to do financially, but emotionally, as I am single!! (and will be FOREVER!!” 

Where you may not fully understand her feelings, nor does she yours at this time, friendship IS about empathy and TRYING to understand one another, certainly.  Instead of kicking her out, which would just make this way worse, please try expressing your feelings.  “It hurts me to hear you say X,Y,Z, even though I can empathize at how difficult these things can be.”  Hopefully, she will apologize, explain that she is not bitching to the bride, but her friend, and you two can move on it from it 🙂

 

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