- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2016
Need your advice. Badly.
I’ve been an avid lurker on the site as my best friend and i have been exchanging ideas for our future weddings for fun for the past year. She already told me that I would be her Maid/Matron of Honor since she wasn’t as close to our other friends. She told me that aside from being the obvious choice (since i do a lot of pr/events work in my job) i know her well enough that i can guide her into making right decisions. This was an ongoing discussion whenever we’d meet up.
Well, she’s officially engaged and I couldn’t be happier for her.
Until one of our friends (we’ll call her stacy. Stacy is a part of our circle of friends and was actually close to my best friend before but sort of drifted away) found out and started connecting with her again. My best friend would update me on this. Even tell me that it was obvious that stacy thought she was Maid/Matron of Honor. I would laugh about it until out of the blue, my best friend casually mentions that stacy is planning her wedding. I was confused because we both knew that stacy is the type who gets excited about projects but never finishes them. And I ask her, what exactly does she mean by that. She tells me that since stacy is planning the wedding it’s only right that she’s Maid/Matron of Honor.
I stayed quiet but was getting really upset. I told her that i respect her decision and will support her still. but i wish she didn’t tell me that she chose me before. We talked it out and she admitted she made a huge mistake especially since they started arguing already since my best friend lives abroad and the Maid/Matron of Honor has to do a lot of the work.
The past few months have been difficult because i will admit that there is a bit of bitterness for what happened. What bothers me now is that my best friend has been asking me to help on big items like venues and caterers because stacy isn’t familiar with all that. Stacy has also been asking me to attend wedding fairs and help look for “cheap venues”.
It’s frustrating because i feel like im doing all the heavy lifting while stacy is just following along. And this is petty, but in the end, she gets the credit.
Would appreciate any thoughts that will help me now. I really do want to be there for my best friend and have gone along with them several times to their planning sessions but often leave feeling frustrated and hurt.