(Closed) bridesmaid problems still.. help please!!!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

It seems like they’re not planning on being at/in your wedding at all, OP. Sorry for the problems you’re having.

You might consider contacting them and asking what the problem is with the dress or if  they need help or if they’re not interested in standing up with you anymore?

EDIT: Tell them you need a response by “x” date otherwise you’ll move on planning without them.

Post # 5
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@mrsrecon:  I am NOT making excuses for them bc I don’t think they shoprop procrastinate so much, but maybe call/text about things other than your wedding for awhile, so they know you care about them more than a dress. And maybe with Christmas coming they aren’t thinking about your wedding and are wondering why youre freaking out when they have “so much time”.  I honestly, not knowing stuff about weddings wouldn’t think about yours until after new years. 

Post # 6
Member
46329 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

 

Adults don’t like to be told what to do. especially repeatedly.

Give them a deadline date to order the dresses, then back off.

If they don’t order them on time, you will know where you stand.

They don’t need you to tell them when or how to make travel arrangements, either. You may be coming across as a bit controlling, especially when there is no tone of voice or body language to help them get your best intent.

Post # 9
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@mrsrecon:  that’s nice of you, I really don’t think there is anything else you can do but focus on the other aspects of planning and hope that they will get it together. 

im in NC, too! Raleigh, where are you? 

Post # 11
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Cool! Good luck…you know girls, some of us like to drag these things out, Lol. 

Post # 13
Member
46329 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mrsrecon:  I suggest you try seeing it from their point of view, not yours.

As much as they may want to be in your wedding, if they have money problems, how are they supposed to order a dress or book a flight?

Clearly your method hasn’t worked and is causing you frustration. Consider a different approach.

In the meantime, use your energy to develop a backup plan if the girls don’t order the dress. Would you be ok with them picking a  dress they can afford in your choice of color and fabric.?

Post # 15
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

OP, I’m sorry you’re having such a stressful time with your girls. I agree, tell them a date that they need to order their dress by (and I’d say it came from the dress shop) in order for it to arrive in time.  If it’s not until January, then give them until that date to do it and don’t ask them again until the day before the date.  If you haven’t set a date in stone for them to order by, I can see how it may come off annoying to them to have you continuously ask them when originally back in Sept. you said there was plenty of time.

Also, are you asking the girls to take off a whole week and travel to NC to stay in the house for your wedding?  For me that would be very hard…I’ve stood up in a number of weddings and only taken off the day of (and possibly half day before if the wedding was on a Friday for the rehearsal dinner Thursday).  A whole week may be a lot for them on top of airfare and the dress if they don’t have a steady income.  Maybe that’s why they’re dragging their feet with that?

Are any of your sisters or friends married?  Sometimes it’s hard for people who have not been through the whole wedding planning process to understand the stress and how long it takes for some things (such as dresses to come in) to happen.

Post # 16
Member
46329 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mrsrecon:  Most girls would say the cost of a dress is not an issue when the subject is raised. They know it’s what you want and they don’t want to hurt your feelings.

Whether or not they can afford the dress or trip has NOTHING to do with how much they care or value your friendship and everyhting to do with their own personal financial situation.

The topic ‘bridesmaid problems still.. help please!!!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors