(Closed) bridesmaid problems still.. help please!!!

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 33
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@mrsrecon: 

I’m so sorry that this might ruin your friendships! πŸ™ Though it hurts now it might be for the best… I know I wouldn’t allow my friends to call me names or talk behind my back. It sounds like they may even be jealous of your upcoming wedding… 

I think the best thing to do (if they dont meet the deadline) is to say how sad you are they didn’t come through for you. Just say that you were depending on them and you wished they would have told you or would tell you why they couldn’t pay or do things in time. Say that you dont want this to ruin your friendship but you can’t understand why they have been acting this way towards you. If you ask them to point out spesific times that they were angry at you or you made them upset you might be able to hear their side and remedy the situation! It might hurt to hear what they have to say but at least you’ll have a little insite as to why they are treating you so badly!

Post # 34
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@mrsrecon: I hear ya. But let it be understood that your deadline isn’t what would ruin your friendships. They’ve contributed to the demise of the friendships way before dresses were ever in the equation. Certainly own what, if any of this, is your own as far as being responsible for how this all goes down, but don’t own all of it. Recognize that they are party to this and don’t blame yourself any further.

 
 

Post # 35
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@mhandit I am in Wilmington too! πŸ™‚ Having a similar issue. I created a Facebook group which I thought would be very well received, but only 2 of my 6 Bridesmaid or Best Man actually interact with my posts on there! I submitted the link to the dresses the beginning of January because I didn’t want to post it around Christmas time. My Maid/Matron of Honor has ordered her dress, but no one else has even said when they might purchase the dress. I think I am going to put a deadline to order the dress by the end of March for my May wedding so I will have 1 less thing to stress about for 2 months! πŸ™‚

Post # 37
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@May2013Wedding:  Shout out to the Wilmington area.. Not from there or getting married, but im just right down 74 and getting married in Chadbourn.

I wanted to say that you sould definitely get on those girls about ordering their dresses. All of my ladies ordered theirs in Sept. and we didnt get them until the 2nd week of January. They are going through a month of alterations, so… not to stress you out but you may be a tiny bit short on time.

As for the OPs girls.. they are brats! That is insane. I can completely agree when you say “I wouldnt be a Bridesmaid or Best Man if I couldn’t afford it.” I feel like its common sense to know its going to be a little $$$ and whether or not one can afford it. I’m not rich by any means and most of my girls are in college/grad school and aren’t either.. that being said, I asked them what their budget for shoes and dress was and went from there. I had plenty of “ordering time cushion” but if i gave them a date and 2 weeks later they still hadnt ordered the dress AND hadn’t told me why other than to say im mean.. i’d have to say you’re no longer in my wedding. No one that needs to be there on your day will say that to you. You may be a bit controlling with constant nagging, but speaking from experience, i know what its like to constantly have to remind others of things they need to get done. I’m a VERY organized person, so i understand where you’re coming from.. after my Fiance suggested I just set a date, it happened to work out that they ordered them even though i had to end up loaning one girl the cash.

I hope things look up and those girls grow up! Planning a wedding is enough stress in itself.. dont need the supposed support system bringing you down, too. πŸ™‚

Post # 39
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@mhandit I am getting married outside of Asheville, it will be an outdoor wedding on a lake with reception on site. πŸ˜€ I’m sorry about your sister that is rough! It is kind of ironic you mentioned her being engaged. Two of my BM’s are married, one was engaged before me, one just got engaged last month and another is going to get proposed to next weekend! (Her bf is one of FI’s Groomsmen so I got the inside scoop)

Update on my girl’s dresses: 3 have been ordered after I sent out the facebook msg. 3 more to go!!!

Post # 41
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@mhandit  I had them get infinity dresses from http://www.henkaa.com

They can wear it any way they want and it took about 7-10 days for them to get it. πŸ™‚

 

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