Post # 1
One of my three bridesmaid has just notified me that she will not be able to make it our wedding due to financial reasons. She is going back to school and is living off paycheck to paycheck. I asked her 9 months ago if it will be a financial burden on her and she said no. She emailed me and told me she cannot afford the hotel and other expenses. I told her that I understood and that I respected her decision. I told the other two bridesmaids who are also good friends with her and one of them got really upset. She emailed her and they exchanged some harsh words. Now I am left with angry bridesmaids and maybe have lost a true friend.
How am I suppose to react? Was I suppose to find a way to accomodate her needs?
Post # 3
I had a bridesmaid tell me she did not know if she could commit b/c she was not sure if she could afford the dress, shoes, hotel, $ for travel. It is important to me that she be a part of my day. She also let me know 8 months ahead of time so not exactly the same…. I would just try to mediate so that she could at least be there, you don’t want to ruin your friendship or come between her and your mutual friend. Also talk with the other bridesmaid who seems to be upset as well. It’s not fun to mediate but you’ll be happy you did when you are looking back at your wedding in a year.
Post # 4
Two of my bridesmaid have been facing a lot of financial issues. We still wanted them to be a part of our day, so we bought them their dresses as gifts and will be using some of frequent flyer miles for plane tickets. I know it’s a month before the wedding and it would be difficult…but maybe you should talk to her and see what she needs help with and if there are any chances of you helping her out.
Post # 5
Instead of getting mad at her, maybe try to put yourself in her position. I’m sure she feels really bad and thought about this long and hard before she did it. Money is tight for lots of people right now. Sorry this happened, but you’ll have a great time no matter what. You need to tell your other BMs to stay out of it. It isn’t their place.
Post # 6
Wait, your other Bridesmaid or Best Man sent her a nasty email *after* you said you were okay with her not coming? The other Bridesmaid or Best Man is waaaaaaaaaaaaay out of line here. The issue was already resolved and she brought it up again.
OTOH, her communication with the dropped out Bridesmaid or Best Man had nothing to do with you. Hopefully she’ll realize that if she hasn’t already and your friendship will be fine. You might also consider asking the other BM’s why they are so upset. Maybe they’re struglging too, and they feel cheated b/c they made it work. Let them know that you appreciate their effort…esp. given the economy.
As to whether to accomodate her…1 month notice isn’t a lot to prepare for helping someone out. Since she’s strapped for cash, she probably knows you are too. it would be a nice gesture to help her out, but I don’t think you’re obligated to do so.