(Closed) Bridesmaid question

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@VeronikaRB:My girls don’t really do much of anything unless I ask them too.  I wouldn’t worry about it.  They have busy lives and a lot more to worry about!  As long as they are there for you closer to your big day, it doesn’t really matter.  There’s not much for them to do until then.  I think cutting bridesmaids would be pretty devastating to those girls, I would never do that.  Make sure you’re clear about what you want them to do, don’t just assume they already know your expectations.

Just relax and breathe! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

But what exactly are you expecting them to call or text about? Just to ask about the wedding in general? Or do they have specific things you’ve already asked them to do?

I think its a bit much to expect them to call or text every month about the wedding, especially since its not til sept 2011, they will be more involved as you get close to the wedding. but right now theres not much for them to do.

Post # 5
Member
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i don’t think you need to cut your bridal party over this. i had similar experiences – and the lesson you will learn several times over is that no one is as excited about your wedding as you are.  as long as they get their dresses on time (something i having issues with!) and they are supportive on the day, that’s all you can expect from them. the fact that you asked them to be BMs, i can’t imagine they would be happy to just step down without feeling all kinds of hurt.  and you want them at your wedding, don’t you?  the best way to deal i find with these situations is simply to lower your expectations and then you won’t be disappointed.

Post # 6
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

I would suggest that you take a moment and ask yourself what your expectations are for your bridesmaids.  Then, ask yourself if they’re aware of your expectations?  I also think it’s important to think about the personalities of your bridesmaids as well.  I knew when I asked my girls to be BM’s that 3 of the 5 would be super involved and the other 2 would be less involved.  If you don’t want to jeopardize your frienship with these ladies, I wouldn’t ask them to step down.  Plus, keep in mind that you still have 9 months to go.  That is quite a ways to go in the planning process.  Good Luck!

Post # 7
Member
2465 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i had 7 bridesmaids, and there were definitely ones who were way more involved than others. and that’s totally fine! if i was doing it over again, i may not have asked all of them, but whatever, i didn’t know at the time. i don’t think you need to cut them–that seems extreme. i agree with the other posters that your expectations may just be too high.

Post # 8
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Yes you are expecting too much in my opinion.  It’s hard enough remembering to call your parents and buy Christmas presents and keep up with daily living without thinking about calling a bride-to-be as well every month in the lead-up to a wedding.

It’s your wedding, not theirs.  If you really think you need more from them, ask for it.  I tend to think though, that if they wanted to give more, they probably just would. 

Post # 10
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

CUT EM

Post # 11
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

@VeronikaRB:  yeah that sounds hurtful.  I’d confront them and be honest about your hurt feelings.  Give them a chance to explain themsevles – perhaps they’ve been out buying you a wedding present. 

Post # 12
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I say don’t cut a Bridesmaid or Best Man it only causes drama and resentment on your wedding day. You obviously felt close to them at one point in your life. A lot of friends don’t get excited about a wedding until it gets closer. I would be happy for the few helpful ones and still keep in touch with the other ones and flat out ask for help if you need it.

The topic ‘Bridesmaid question’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors