(Closed) Bridesmaid Rant

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Same thing happened to my best friend/MOH at her wedding…. Bridesmaid B decided she couldn’t be bothered to take the day off for my friend’s FRIDAY wedding. So she showed up late, rushed, and rude. It really just makes her look bad. I would breathe and plan to shoot the photos without her.

It’s sad but if she doesn’t want to participate she won’t.

Post # 4
11808 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

Maybe she just doesn’t understand how much goes into the wedding day.  Make up a timeline and send it to her, and let her know that you really need her there.  But try to make it sweet if you can!  🙂

Post # 6
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I found I had to tell people what time and where to be places several times.  I wouldn’t assume that she remembers the pictures.  Just send her a friendly reminder.  Better yet, call her as texts and emails can easily be misinterpreted.

Post # 7
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Just my .02, but the fact that it’s 8 months in advance probably makes it much harder for her to ask for the time off, especially since she just started at this job.  No new employee wants to be seen as shirking responsibility by asking for vacation days right after being hired.

Having said that, I think you’re right to be concerned.  It seems like maybe the two of you should get together in person to discuss what’s necessary and what she’s able to do.  Conversations like these can be tense, and communicating something this complicated over text message can make things more difficult than necessary.

Rule of thumb:  If your thought process begins “Everybody knows…”  stop.  That’s a dangerous assumption to make and one that nearly always leads to disappointment and hurt feelings.  She probably has no idea what’s expected of her and therefore has unrealistic ideas of what’s involved in being a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Post # 8
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I had that happen to me – she actually asked me to change my date. Ummm. Nope. It will work out.

Post # 10
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hmm… maybe there’s something else going on? Like she can’t afford to pay for her share of the hotel room? If there’s no cost involved then maybe she just doesn’t know how important it is for you to have all your girls there the night before. Try emphasizing to her how much it would mean to you to have her join you guys so that the schedule will run smoothly.

Post # 12
35 posts
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hiya )

I think you’re totally right to be pissedoff.  If she has been a bridesmaid before then she should be aware that a certain amount of time is required.


Idon’t think she should be meeting you at the church; she should at least make the effort to help you get dressed etc.

Maybe you could invite her over for dinner, and in a non confrontational manner just explain how you’re feeling and that she’s making you feel really stressed out and you need her support.  She might not know how much it’s getting to you?

Sorry you’re having issues 🙁 hopefully a good girly chat should clear the air between you, after all you cared enough about her to have her in your wedding 🙂 x

Post # 13
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you need to sit down and explain to her face to face what you expect of her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Text messages suck for context and meaning.  Make a list of things to talk about with her, then talk to her about each one and gage her response.  It is possible that she can’t guarantee getting the day off, but she may not even have the same job in eight months, so I wouldn’t stress about it until the date gets closer and you have a better idea of whether or not she’ll be there.  As long as you convey to her how important it is to you that she is there at 2pm, I think she’ll probably show up and it will be fine.

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