(Closed) bridesmaid really aggravating me – sorry but it’s long

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Wow is all I can say. I’m not a confrontational person but I’m pretty sure I would have to sit this girl down and have a long talk with her. This is your day and you don’t need anymore stress than you already have. She is seeming very selfish and disrespectful. I think I would have to maybe tell her your tastes are different and that it upsets you when she demeans your ideas. That maybe if she doesn’t agree then she shouldn’t help with those planning aspects. as for the dinner visit. that is crazy it wasn’t as if she didn’t tell you she had some sort of discount you could use and then they use it and don’t offer it to you. wow just wow. I would also say something about being on a budget with the hair and makeup and the other bridesmaids might be disapointed if she is offered more than them and you would feel uncomfortable. does she expect you to pay for her hair and makeup too? So sorry about your situation HUGS!

Post # 5
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

Wow!  parts of that sound like a friend of mine.  I was her Maid/Matron of Honor, but figured out long ago that she would not be standing in my wedding (I’d make sure I didn’t have a matron of honor unless my sister was married at the time of my wedding).  Every time I say I want to do stuff to keep costs down (I have tons of vacation time to use up), she tells me I’m past the at “age” of wanting to DIY.  I carefully now avoid telling her anything about the wedding and tell her there are no new developments.  I have not asked her for any suggestions (purposefully).  BUT, I did invite her to help me finish my registry at a registry event @ Macy’s (b/c I knew she’d want to be somewhere that were there was free food).  She’s a ‘zilla.  Not so much when she was a bride, but she was so critical of her cousin when her cousin got married and actually cut the sash off her Bridesmaid or Best Man dress.

So, my advice:  plan what you do with her and don’t share too many details.  It’s too bad you can’t use the line I have ready for my friend:  “You had your wedding already.  This one’s mine.”

Post # 6
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I would honestly just sit her down and explain to her while you’re happy she’s trying to help, it feels like with every comment she’s hurting you rather than helping. I’d also mention that her input isn’t wanted unless it’s going to be helpful. You’re stressed, and she’s adding to it. This is your day, gentely remind her that one day she will have her own, and then it can be her way, but for now, it’s your day, your way.

 

Post # 7
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Well, some people are sad that their bridesmaids don’t do anything. some people are mad that their bridesmaid are too involved to the point of being bossy. I guess, you’ll just need to tell her very clearly what you like and you don’t like. Avoid doing any planning with her that she may disagree with. Or involve her in very specific things if she wants but not involve her when it’s more general planning where she has to constantly gives her 2 cents.

As for making you pay for your dinner, she’s just inconsiderate/selfish. Next time you’ll know to tell her specifically that you’re working with budget constraints and prefer not to go to fancy restaurants/outings. For some people who are used to rolling in $ or spending lots of $, they usually are just oblivious.

As for her hair, you should just let her do whatever she wants as long as you don’t have to pay for her hair/makeup and doesn’t affect your timeline. She cannot outshine you; you’re the bride!

 

Post # 9
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

The funny thing is, if you WERE doing everything the way she envisions it then she’d be upset that you stole all of her wedding ideas! 🙂 You can’t please some people. I’d just confront her, tell her to chill her ass out, then take a deep breath and ignore her.

Post # 11
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

she is totally Jealious

Post # 12
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

and you asked this person to be a bridesmaid? i often wonder how people on the boards get themselves into these kind of friend predicaments.  If you are good friends with her to invite her to stand with you, tell her she’s being a bitch and move on with it!  If you can’t confront her about it, are you really that good of friends? just a thought.  

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