Post # 1
i need some advice….. i am having 3 bridemaids, 2 are my besties and the 3rd is/was a best friend, but has moved to another town a plane ride away, and i havent spoken to her much at all since she has moved away (3ish years ago)
i asked her cos we were close friends at highschool and afterwards, it was always me, her and my other bridemaid hanging out. and i think it was just expected that i ask her. so i did.
she has barely said anything to me about the wedding – she half heartedly offers to do anything she can but she lives so far away its too difficult (not her fault) but never texts/rings asking how the planning is going,
when i said i was engaged, she was like oh” yay.”
i think she was bitter about it cos she has been with her boyfrind the same time as i have and she wants a ring on her finger BAD.
she went to our other friends engagement party at their house, and had a break down, crying, locked her self in the bathroom, sulked, yelled at her boyfriend, stormed off and left the party…… could have ruined the night if my friend wasnt so laid back.
im writing this to say that i wish i didnt ask her to be my bridemaid….am i able to get out of this?? or too late??
she hasnt done anything nasty or anything and is a lovely girl, and i dont want to ruin the friendship and id love to stay friends, will this change it all ?
ill be pissed off at myself if she gets engaged and doesnt ask me to be her bridesmaid cos she felt it wasnt right – when i baiscally asked her to be mine cos i felt sorta like it was expected and i had to…. 🙁
Post # 3
Don’t set yourself up for disappointment. There is no rule that says she has to ask you. If you’re willing to let go of the friendship you can ask her to step down. Otherwise, just work with it!
Post # 4
It sounds like you wouldnt be missing out on much if you did stop being friends, so that’s the risk you’ll take if you ask her to step down.
Post # 5
yea true good call. just that shes part of our group of friends so it would be like shes around and she comes home a bit.
im not expecting to be her bridemaid at all id be happy either way. 🙂
Post # 6
Since she is still being a friend, I think you should keep her. She isn’t doing anything wrong. Some girls get more excited about other peoples’ weddings, that just how it is.
Post # 7
Maybe just assume from now on that she’s not going to be helpful, but for the sake of the friendship, let her show up on the day and be a BM!
Post # 8
I know I’m in the minority, but I would seriously consider asking her to step down, or perhaps take on some other role like doing a reading. It would really bother me personally to look back on photos and be like “yeah, we weren’t that close but I felt obligated to keep her in my wedding party.” – But like I said, that’s just me! If you’re okay with her being not as involved, then let her stay!
Post # 9
thanks for all your input!!! still torn. the other side of it is that i have this bridemaid who im not too fussed on and my hubby to be only wants 2 groomsmen, so i coulda aviouded an uneven bridal party (cos im hating that!) and gone with my gut and not asked her!