Post # 1
It hurts me to admit this, but I am really unhappy about one particular person that I chose to be a bridesmaid. The worst part is she is my cousin. We are only 3 weeks apart, used to talk every day, and have taken quite a few vacations together. I don’t want to assume her reason, but she has been VERY distant. We don’t speak at all anymore. I called her about 2 weeks ago to say hi, she spoke about herself for about 20 minuttes, but never asked me anything about me or what’s going on in my life.
We did have a little tiff a few months back and I called her out for not being supportive about any of my decisions for my wedding. She got upset with me and said she wouldn’t order her gown since she can’t comment on my wedding, but she took her comment back and she did order her gown. We temporarily made-up, but things are worse now. I have four other bridesmaids that are GREAT! I secretly wish that I only had 4 and I had told #5 not to bother ordering the gown.
Anyone else experiencing this?
Post # 3
dont let anyone make your day misereble….. maybe find someone else around her size that is more supportive to fit in to her dress….or….bite your tounge and deal with it. i would even suggest ignoring her that day.
I would def try and talk to her about how you feel though. I have 10 bridesmaids….we were having some issues with a few, and i had to have a Bridesmaid or Best Man meeting in order to get some things clear…..like its our wedding and its not about anyone else.
You still have few months til your day….so do something quick!!!
Post # 4
Me + 2 Cousins! 1 from Mom’s side, 1 from Dad’s.
Cousin #1 from Mom’s side has always been the “attention whore” and needy one. I’ve always been the tomboy that never really liked the attention or “girly” stuff. Just up until a few weeks ago we were super close and she was a “godsend” through all the stuff that my Fiance and I have come across or even with my own insecurities; she’s been there to push me through. But her old self always ceases to amaze me. Im “stupid, ugly, rude, a child, etc.” on a regular basis (those are what I call her cool words; she has no basis or meaning for them other to sound better than you) but one appt. at DB pushed me over the edge. Long story short I asked for her opinion on a bolero; she gave me the “Whatever you want Princess” (sarcasm thick as molasses) and Im still staring at her, looks right to her mom and makes an “ick” face while rolling her eyes. I was in shock! I didnt know what to do next. Everything was happening in slow motion! She looks back at me and sees im staring at her and says “What?!?” I just smile and say “So you dont like it?” She FLIPS OUT!!! Cursing me out and then while walking out the store telling ME to “call her when I can grow the F up and stop being an F’ing Princess.” But not even 10min later she is texting my mom to apologize “…that you have a rude daughter.” I took some time for myself to think things through, was I out of line? did I see or take it wrong?; Im usually one to speak off emotion! She kept poking me and poking me via email. UGH! So after a week I asked if she was free to talk and she shot me down and said “her and her new bf would be traveling the world and she can’t commit to my wedding right now.” At first I was sad and then I was RELIEVED! She couldnt be genuinely happy for me so why even bother! Im better off without her! And there isnt room for any negativity in my life right now.
Many people say “Blood is thicker than water”; well not always. Sometimes they can be your biggest competition or worst enemy, at least in some eyes. Ive never been competitive other than my years playing soccer, never have taken marriage or wedding as competitive.If anything I chose to WAIT and make sure we were BOTH ready for this commitment.
My other difficult cousin is pregnant (due any day now) and she just chose to make everything difficult then resulting me looking like a “bitch that cant accept her pregnancy” in other family’s eyes…um ok??? I mean I literally had a few Tias/Tios try lecturing me! LOL! Um no lets get the story straight! I had my reasons and its not like they came out of the blue; I had case by case, point by point; could you blame me by the end of my list? When I finally got to speak with her on the phone; she said that she sent me an email explaining everything. And when I asked her specific points she made in the email; she just told me to reference it! LOL! So I just hung up the phone. Why go back and forth, round and round.
Lesson learned. The biggest part I struggled with was accepting that these two women weren’t GENUINELY happy for me or even cared to be or honored to be apart of this next step for not only me their cousin, but the awesome guy I found myself. That the relationship I always imagined between me and my cousin (individually) we had was simply a facade or simply something I made myself believe over the years.
My advice: You dont have to accept someone burning you or treating you badly. Stand your ground, you can still keep it classy! I never once lost my cool; yet these girls probed and poked at me hoping I would. I never let them win girl. And I’m still coming out on top! xo Best of Luck!
**Dear God I talk/write too much, I’m sorry!**