(Closed) Bridesmaid regrets

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 48
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Definitely wait. I picked mine 9 months into my wedding and I already regret it.

Post # 49
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013
Post # 50
5063 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I asked my bestest this weekend and we’re not getting married until 2015. I know things can happen. I just couldn’t wait to ask her. It’s nice to be able to chat weddings with a irl friend.

Post # 51
9465 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrMrsSmith:  ask your BMs about a year in advance.  i knew exactly who i wanted in my bridal party and my girls are the absolute best.


Post # 52
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrMrsSmith:  our engagement is one year and I asked my bridesmaids pretty much as soon as I got engaged. Maybe a couple weeks after. And I STILL had drama and regrets. 

Post # 53
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

Wait! Absolutely wait. I chose right away bc my engagement was going to be less than a year and I still have regrets as to some people I chose. I def would cut my bridal party in half if I had the chance to do it over again. 

Post # 54
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Definitely wait!! I think there are lots of people who don’t have bridesmaid regret, but I think it’s always better to be safe than sorry! I asked one of my best friends from high school who was my roommate in college, and it turned out to be a disaster. We drifted apart, got into a huge fight, and weren’t speaking at all. We tried to reconcile but it didn’t work, and she ended up not coming to the wedding at all. So long story short, you can pick them in your head, but don’t ask until it’s closer to the actual wedding! You never know how things might change. That said, the rest of my ladies were great! But WAIT WAIT WAIT to ask!

Post # 56
9 posts
  • Wedding: June 2015

I think if you feel that they are your true friends then I don’t see the problem! My wedding is going to be in 2015 and I have already ask my girls. I just let them know what I want and expected from them 🙂 Good Luck

Post # 56
1 posts
  • Wedding: July 2016

Wait. My wedding was 8 months after my engagement so I had to pick roght away, and I still wish I waited or at least put much more thought into it. My biggest piece of advice to anyone picking bridesmaids is to pick who you TRULY want, not who you think you have to. I asked a cousin because I felt wrong inviting just one and not the other, and there was  family pressure. Surprise! The cousin I didn’t want to ask has been MIA and just a pain in the butt. I also asked a friend from HS that even though I don’t see much any more I still consider a good friend and would be bitter of i asked “new friends” instead…. She’s MIA. The two friends I’ve known for less time that I wanted to invite have been helping me and involved and wonderful. Im sure when the day comes it’ll be all good, but rigt now i don’t think the other two should be standing up there with me. 

Post # 57
409 posts
Helper bee

Chose mine really early, but one of mine was someone I lived with for over 5 years and despite not living in the same state, it hasnt made us any less close, the others were family….if you pick friends in advance be veryyy sure.   Besides the one posters coments about picking people that you wouldnt strain from a time or money perspective (in least demanding brides you still normally have to take a day off work and buy a dress), most importantly pick people you think will enthusiastic.  This does not necessarily mean who has the most money, but who actually wants to do it.  Being a bridesmaid comes with a lot of responsibility (going along with the dress, taking days off work, if others want to participate in pre-parties they pretty much feel expected to go with it, etc.)

The one regret I have is not picking a bigger party (some people say smaller is less drama) because one of the bridal party members has not really wanted to help with things (not that they are required but the other members are pretty enthusiastic about things), and it has put a lot of pressure on the other people.  Most of the people helping at my pre-parties are people outside of the party! However, since I picked so much up front, I felt awkword asking some people 6 months later (especially since they knew I picked others).

Post # 58
663 posts
Busy bee

Don’t do it! Just keep the Maid of Honor, Male of Honor and Best Man. Anyone else is just extra drama and extra expenditures

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