(Closed) Bridesmaid rejected me!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I guess in my opinion being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is an honour, but it’s not a duty.  If for any reason she feels she will not make a good Bridesmaid or Best Man, then she should back out and save you the headache later.

Are her reasons “wrong” in this case?  Maybe.  But you can’t expect her to be in your bridal party, and if you were if-y about it to begin with, then count your blessings.

Post # 5
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

Ehn, well, you WERE iffy about asking her in the first place. Count your blessings and keep it moving. Who knows? You might have been one of those brides coming here in three months saying your Bridesmaid or Best Man is stressing you out ๐Ÿ™

Post # 6
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Her boyfriend seems rather controlling.  If its true that he is making her not be your bridesmaid, then you should probably feel sorry for her for being in that relationship.  And if you think she’s making it up (which seems to be what you are implying?) then you are really lucky that she declined.

I’m sorry that you’re feeling rejected though, and having to deal with dramatic people sucks.

Post # 7
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

You’re getting too involved with other people’s drama.

You asked; she said no. End of story. The reason why she said no, the stuff about her boyfriend, her father, her possible jealousy–it makes no difference.  I’ve said no before and it really didn’t have to do with how I felt about the person–there are also financial concerns, timing concerns, emotional issues, and a lot of other duties that I just didn’t want to do. She may be telling the truth about the boyfriend; she could also be lying to cover up some other reason. And the stuff about the engagement party and her dad and all that is really not your concern.

But my suggestion is don’t take this personally and find someone else. Let it go.

Post # 10
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would not be offended if someone said no.  Being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is hard work now a days with the bride expecting so much.  It is also finacially straining on some bridesmaids.  No one ever likes the dresses they have to wear.  If it were up to me I would never be a Bridesmaid or Best Man again.

Post # 11
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@love4sean:

I hope I didn’t come across as harsh, I sympathize with you because I know I would’ve been a little hurt if one of my BM’s said no…I’m just seriously sleep deprived right now!

And from my opinion.  Personally, I didn’t want BMs at all, but Fiance wanted groomsmen, so I appeased him.  My cousin was always supposed to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, but she has basically been ignoring me since she has a new Boyfriend or Best Friend, so we agreed she would be Bridesmaid or Best Man (I told her it was due to her living 8 hours away, which is also somewhat of an issue).  So for me, having a Bridesmaid or Best Man who doesn’t seem interested has been such a HEADACHE, so it’s lucky that yours warned you beforehand.

Perhaps you should sit down with her and tell her it’s ok that she’s not a Bridesmaid or Best Man but see what her real reasons are?  If her Boyfriend or Best Friend won’t let her…that’s a little bit controlling in my opinion.  So either that’s true and he’s a bit of a jerk, or she’s using that to cover up the real reason. 

Post # 13
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@love4sean: Yeah, but what are you going to do with that piece of information? Call her up and scream at her? Demand money back? That’s what I mean by not fixating on the drama–you can’t change the outcome, so it’s not worth the stress.

And frankly, from what you’ve said about her, she seems like she’d make a pretty “high maintenance” Bridesmaid or Best Man anyway.

Post # 14
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i wouldn’t worry about it, honestly. like you said..if she loves drama that much then you dont want/need her around stressing you out anyways.

Post # 16
Member
3254 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@love4sean: Sometimes people are cruel, and we will never fully understand their reasoning. Both of my sisters have rejected me and we are not even speaking simply because they feel like their weddings weren’t happy, so they don’t want mine to be. My best advice for you is not to let people bring you down and focus on YOUR DAY. ๐Ÿ™‚

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