(Closed) Bridesmaid Responsibilities

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Post # 4
5784 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

@soy:  lol this is always what I think when people post nightmare stories. “well you’re the one who picked cr*ppy friends”

Post # 5
12955 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh man, I was expecting another post about how the BMs didn’t move Heaven and Earth!  You rock, soy!   

Post # 6
6210 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I think this is one of those opinions that is better not shouted over the internet. And I don’t know anyone who would have an easy time just choosing new friends. That’s really insensitive. Maybe some people should have lower expectations of their bridal party or shouldn’t have picked the people they picked, but a lot of the ladies complaining about bridesmaid issues are just seeing a new side of some friends or aren’t feeling the support a friend should be giving them.

Post # 7
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It’s not even about choosing better friends. I think some brides don’t make clear to their bridesmaids what they think being a bridesmaid entails, and then get pissed when the girl doesn’t follow through on things she didn’t even know existed/she was “supposed” to do! 

It’s just like with your SO/FI/DH/DW — if you don’t tell them you need something, they are not mind readers. You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment. 

Post # 8
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Why don’t we have a LIKE button?!?!


Seriously I cringe when I hear these stories about how “my bridesmaid is my BFF but we haven’t seen each other since high school because I moved away and she’s pregnant with triplets and lost her job and her boyfriend is a jerk and she didn’t plan to take me to Vegas for my bachelorette and she didn’t throw me a shower even though she only lives 6 hours away and waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh why doesn’t she like the $200 super-pink dress I picked out for her?”

PS: I don’t think the OP means “your friends suck, you need new ones.”  I think she means “of all the friends you have, perhaps choosing the ones that you are currently the closest to, and not the ones you’ve known the longest, would result in a less stressful bridal party.”

Post # 9
9485 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

haha I like this.  I can’t imagine having any real problems with my BM!  But I’m pretty easy going…so I can’t imagine getting all bridezilla on them either.

And yep…communication is a KEY part of every relationship!

Post # 10
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I love those posts always boil down to something like this:


“well, have you asked her if something is going on in her life?”


“no, she’s always been like this”


“uhhh…………..okay so you expected something different because..QUESTION MARK?”

Post # 11
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I also find it really bizzare that some ladies have these masive bridal parties made up of friends they’ve not been close with in years, their brother’s new girlfriend, and their third cousin on their great-uncle’s side.  And the hallway monitor from when they were in kindergarten. Then wonder why the wheels came off.


Post # 12
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@mandypop:  YES. THIS. Times a million. “She’s always been s selfish, but I thought she’d change now that I’m getting married!” Um, why?

Post # 15
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yes yes yes yes yes, thank you for posting this!  It always makes me sad when people say about bridesmaids’ ‘responsibilities’ or their ‘duties’.  If you’d like some help, ask for some help.  If they can’t do it, then move on – they have lives too!  And they can’t be expected to put it on hold just because it’s your wedding!

Post # 16
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MeiFrancis:  +1

Honestly, I feel like it’s a pretty general expectation that your bridesmaids help you with wedding stuff. I’ve never heard nor seen anywhere, except on here, that they shouldn’t be expected to do anything but wear a dress and show up the day of. When I chose my Maid/Matron of Honor, her first question was, “Okay, what do you need me to do?” and I had no idea. I had to go find a list of “duties” and tell her to ignore most of them and that there were a couple of things that she could help me with if she wanted. My Bridesmaid or Best Man who’s in town offered any help I needed. Hell, I had friends who aren’t in the Bridal Party offer their help.

Maybe it’s regional? There are a lot of regional traditions/expectations/etc. on here that you don’t really think about (cash bar, dollar dance, etc.) because it’s so commonplace wherever you live and you never see otherwise. No idea.

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