Post # 1
ARE NOTHING SHORT OF BEING THE FRIENDS THEY HAVE BEEN FOR YOU YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. If your bridesmaids suck, than IMO it’s your fault – YOU are the one who chose them to be your friends in the first place! There are NO required responsibilities of your maid of honor and/or bridesmaids AT ALL. END OF STORY. A good friend will be there for you whether they are a bridesmaid, a maid of honor or a clown for your child’s first birthday. SO, STOP BLAMING YOUR BRIDESMAIDS and start blaming yourself. Choose better friends. End Rant.
Post # 4
@soy: lol this is always what I think when people post nightmare stories. “well you’re the one who picked cr*ppy friends”
Post # 5
Oh man, I was expecting another post about how the BMs didn’t move Heaven and Earth! You rock, soy!
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I think this is one of those opinions that is better not shouted over the internet. And I don’t know anyone who would have an easy time just choosing new friends. That’s really insensitive. Maybe some people should have lower expectations of their bridal party or shouldn’t have picked the people they picked, but a lot of the ladies complaining about bridesmaid issues are just seeing a new side of some friends or aren’t feeling the support a friend should be giving them.
Post # 7
It’s not even about choosing better friends. I think some brides don’t make clear to their bridesmaids what they think being a bridesmaid entails, and then get pissed when the girl doesn’t follow through on things she didn’t even know existed/she was “supposed” to do!
It’s just like with your SO/FI/DH/DW — if you don’t tell them you need something, they are not mind readers. You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.
Post # 8
Why don’t we have a LIKE button?!?!
Seriously I cringe when I hear these stories about how “my bridesmaid is my BFF but we haven’t seen each other since high school because I moved away and she’s pregnant with triplets and lost her job and her boyfriend is a jerk and she didn’t plan to take me to Vegas for my bachelorette and she didn’t throw me a shower even though she only lives 6 hours away and waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh why doesn’t she like the $200 super-pink dress I picked out for her?”
PS: I don’t think the OP means “your friends suck, you need new ones.” I think she means “of all the friends you have, perhaps choosing the ones that you are currently the closest to, and not the ones you’ve known the longest, would result in a less stressful bridal party.”
Post # 9
haha I like this. I can’t imagine having any real problems with my BM! But I’m pretty easy going…so I can’t imagine getting all bridezilla on them either.
And yep…communication is a KEY part of every relationship!
Post # 10
I love those posts always boil down to something like this:
“well, have you asked her if something is going on in her life?”
“no, she’s always been like this”
“uhhh…………..okay so you expected something different because..QUESTION MARK?”
Post # 11
I also find it really bizzare that some ladies have these masive bridal parties made up of friends they’ve not been close with in years, their brother’s new girlfriend, and their third cousin on their great-uncle’s side. And the hallway monitor from when they were in kindergarten. Then wonder why the wheels came off.
Post # 12
@mandypop: YES. THIS. Times a million. “She’s always been s selfish, but I thought she’d change now that I’m getting married!” Um, why?
Post # 13
A really good post was written about this awhile back:
I like to bump it when the Bridesmaid or Best Man drama is thick on the boards. Sometimes people need to be reminded that these are friends, not employees or slaves.
Post # 14
@DaneLady: hahaha so cute!!
Post # 15
Yes yes yes yes yes, thank you for posting this! It always makes me sad when people say about bridesmaids’ ‘responsibilities’ or their ‘duties’. If you’d like some help, ask for some help. If they can’t do it, then move on – they have lives too! And they can’t be expected to put it on hold just because it’s your wedding!
Post # 16
Honestly, I feel like it’s a pretty general expectation that your bridesmaids help you with wedding stuff. I’ve never heard nor seen anywhere, except on here, that they shouldn’t be expected to do anything but wear a dress and show up the day of. When I chose my Maid/Matron of Honor, her first question was, “Okay, what do you need me to do?” and I had no idea. I had to go find a list of “duties” and tell her to ignore most of them and that there were a couple of things that she could help me with if she wanted. My Bridesmaid or Best Man who’s in town offered any help I needed. Hell, I had friends who aren’t in the Bridal Party offer their help.
Maybe it’s regional? There are a lot of regional traditions/expectations/etc. on here that you don’t really think about (cash bar, dollar dance, etc.) because it’s so commonplace wherever you live and you never see otherwise. No idea.