Bridesmaid Selection

posted 10 months ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll:
  • Post # 2
    1049 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    Would these be the only bridesmaids or is this in addition to others you are already sure about?

    TBH it doesn’t sound like you’re super excited to ask either. You don’t have to have bridesmaids!


    Post # 3
    708 posts
    Busy bee

    Don’t ask anyone to be in your wedding party that you aren’t totally sure about. Don’t let any sense of “IOUs” be part of your wedding party selection. 

    For your long-time friend, could you just invite her to the wedding? Maybe include her in the pre-wedding festivities? The same could apply to the other women. 


    Post # 4
    92 posts
    Worker bee

    I don’t have a large circle of girl friends. I plan on having just a Maid/Matron of Honor, if I even have a bridal party at all. FH has more friends that I know what to do with. He can have 16 groomsmen for all I care. I don’t mind flying solo. It’s how I live my life.

    Post # 5
    10315 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    No on 1.

    2 doesn’t really seem that close? I mean do you talk every day or something?

    Post # 6
    1555 posts
    Bumble bee

    It shouldn’t be this hard.  If you are wondering if you are close enough to someone to want them to be your bridesmaid, chances are it’s a ‘no’.  

    If you don’t have anyone ‘obvious’ to choose, then don’t have any – there’s no law that says you must have bridesmaids to be married!

    Post # 7
    2817 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    @victorialynne05:  There’s no etiquette or rule to say that if you’re someone’s Maid/Matron of Honor they should also be yours. 

    Post # 8
    13992 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Do you have siblings, future sibling in laws, cousins or nieces and nephews you’re asking? From the way you describe the relationships I wouldn’t ask the people you mention. One hasn’t been a true friend for years and the others you’re just really getting to know. 

    Post # 9
    977 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2022

    I’d say have a no bridesmaid route. If you have to think about if you feel strong enough about it then the answer is no. Thank 

    Post # 10
    31 posts

    No and No. If you have doubts you shouldn’t do it. I don’t think your friend in #2 would even care if you ask her to be a bridesmaid.

    The situation with #1 is more delicate though. Do you think she will be so upset if she is not in your wedding party? And do you really care if she gets upset? If one of these anwers is no, then you shouldn’t have a problem excludşng her from the wedding party.

    I have a deeper concern though. Based on the timeline of yoır friendship, you were already not that close when she asked you to be the MH. Why do you think that happened? There is certaibly some assymetry in how you guys percieve your relationship. Speculating over that your friend may like you disproportionately more. In which case, she may get mad when you told her she is not in the wedding party. But if you ask me, it is not healthy to be friends with such people anyways. So, I wouldn’t do anything just to make her happy.

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