Post # 1
So I have two questions.
#1 I have known this girl for about 15 years. I was her Maid of Honor at her wedding about 3 years ago. For about 3 years before that we really didn’t hang out much or talk to often. We used to be really close in teh 2000’s. After her wedding I have only seen her one time, we very rarely talk. I feel that we are not very close since 2011. I don’t want to ask her to be in my party, but idk if that is rude since I was her Maid/Matron of Honor. What do y’all think?
#2 I moved to a new area and have become friends with some girls in a local Young Catholic Adults group. Because of Covid we have not been able to hang out in person much. I have known then since December of 202, so about 9 months. I was considering making them bridesmaids. Any thoughts on that?
Post # 2
Would these be the only bridesmaids or is this in addition to others you are already sure about?
TBH it doesn’t sound like you’re super excited to ask either. You don’t have to have bridesmaids!
Post # 3
Don’t ask anyone to be in your wedding party that you aren’t totally sure about. Don’t let any sense of “IOUs” be part of your wedding party selection.
For your long-time friend, could you just invite her to the wedding? Maybe include her in the pre-wedding festivities? The same could apply to the other women.
Post # 4
I don’t have a large circle of girl friends. I plan on having just a Maid/Matron of Honor, if I even have a bridal party at all. FH has more friends that I know what to do with. He can have 16 groomsmen for all I care. I don’t mind flying solo. It’s how I live my life.
Post # 5
No on 1.
2 doesn’t really seem that close? I mean do you talk every day or something?
Post # 6
It shouldn’t be this hard. If you are wondering if you are close enough to someone to want them to be your bridesmaid, chances are it’s a ‘no’.
If you don’t have anyone ‘obvious’ to choose, then don’t have any – there’s no law that says you must have bridesmaids to be married!
Post # 7
There’s no etiquette or rule to say that if you’re someone’s Maid/Matron of Honor they should also be yours.
Post # 8
Do you have siblings, future sibling in laws, cousins or nieces and nephews you’re asking? From the way you describe the relationships I wouldn’t ask the people you mention. One hasn’t been a true friend for years and the others you’re just really getting to know.
Post # 9
I’d say have a no bridesmaid route. If you have to think about if you feel strong enough about it then the answer is no. Thank
Post # 10
No and No. If you have doubts you shouldn’t do it. I don’t think your friend in #2 would even care if you ask her to be a bridesmaid.
The situation with #1 is more delicate though. Do you think she will be so upset if she is not in your wedding party? And do you really care if she gets upset? If one of these anwers is no, then you shouldn’t have a problem excludşng her from the wedding party.
I have a deeper concern though. Based on the timeline of yoır friendship, you were already not that close when she asked you to be the MH. Why do you think that happened? There is certaibly some assymetry in how you guys percieve your relationship. Speculating over that your friend may like you disproportionately more. In which case, she may get mad when you told her she is not in the wedding party. But if you ask me, it is not healthy to be friends with such people anyways. So, I wouldn’t do anything just to make her happy.