Bridesmaid selection trouble – giving me major anxiety :(

posted 2 weeks ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’d probably just stick with the original 6 because that sounds like a lot already. Even if you are having a super formal wedding (which large bridal parties make me think of), 10 people is a lot to coordinate for stuff, get on board for dresses, etc. It doesn’t sound like any of your maybe’s would cause drama, but it’s still a lot of people to deal with haha. I had 3, which felt like plenty. 

Post # 3
Member
6845 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Six bridesmaids?? That is more than enough. Read through all the Bridesmaids posts…

Post # 4
Member
725 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I’m in a bridal party with 11 bridesmaids. Keep it to 6. That is plenty. Also, if you’re on the fence about whether to make someone a bridesmaid, don’t. It’s great that you have so many close friends! 

Post # 6
Member
6850 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I agree with PPs. 6 is plenty!

That said, there’s no reason you can’t include these other 4 ladies in the bachelorette party. There’s no rule that that kind of thing has to ONLY include the bridesmaids. It’s wonderful that you have so many close friends 🙂

Post # 7
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: City, State

carolinabride123 :  choosing my bridesmaids made me so anxious – I didn’t want to upset anyone so I totally feel where you are coming from!! In the end I stuck with the initial 4 I was totally sure about – my other friends are still involved in planning and all the events and are really excited.

Post # 9
Member
8919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

carolinabride123 :  First you wait for someone to offer to throw a bachlorette party for you. Then you find out how many people they are planning to host, then you give them your suggested guest list based on that.

There is no rule or tradition that a bachlorette party is only for bridesmaids, so there is no reason to address anything. 

If you are giving goodie bags (for any party) have enough for everyone. So if your bachelorette is just the bridesmaids, have a goodie bag for each bridesmaid. If it’s 6 bridesmaids plus these 4 other women, have 10. If its bridesmaids plus these 4 plus anyone else, have enough for everyone. Or you can skip them, the guest of honor is not expected to provide goodie bags for a party that someone else is throwing. Congratulations and have fun!

Post # 11
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

carolinabride123 :  Im front Toronto, Canada in case location makes a difference I had 7 bridesmaids who planned my weekend away bachelorette and when asked for guestlist I also invited all my really close friends. There was total of 21 girls (myself and bridal party included), we went for 3 days to another major city if that makes a difference

In my area and group of friends other good friends always get invited to the bachelor/bachelorette parties. In a situation where its a weekend away then likely not everone attends due to cost etc but more local ones (downtown, cottage etc) the groups get upto 30 people no issue.. I only know one girl (out many married friends) who only invited her bridal party to the bach but it was an expensive Mexico trip and she knew myself and 2 other girls she would want couldnt make it anyways (5 hour flight and about 3000k during weekdays)

 

So just let your bridal party know the guest list!

Post # 12
Member
8919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

carolinabride123 :  “how do i say “even though you aren’t a bridesmaid, I’d love you to join us at the bachelorette party”” — You don’t. That’s what I and all the other bees are trying to tell you.

  1. Whoever is throwing the party for you will be inviting people, so you won’t need to say anything.
  2. There is absoutely nothing weird about inviting non-bridesmaids to a bachlorette party. There is nothing to explain, there is no “even though”. 
  3. This means that you can cross this off the list of things to worry about 🙂 
Post # 14
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

carolinabride123 :  your maid of honour can handle the invites. I was at a bachelorette party this summer where I wasn’t a bridesmaid, the maid of honour sent around a group Facebook message to see who was interested/available. My husband had the same with a bachelor party he wasn’t a groomsman for this past weekend. I wouldn’t worry about having to approach them about it, or preface anything with an explanation about bridesmaids status. 

Post # 15
Member
8919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

carolinabride123 :  She can text them, she can call, she can set up a FB event, she can mail out paper invitations, she can do it however she wants. The bride really shouldn’t be involved. If you get within a month or so of the wedding and nobody has offered to throw a bachlorette party, you could consider inviting some friends out (or in) for a girl’s night.* But if someone else is hosting, leave it to them.

(* This does not apply to a shower. There is no circumstance where it is appropriate to throw your own shower since that is specifically a gift-giving event.)

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors