(Closed) Bridesmaid shoe advice??

posted 5 years ago in Shoes
Post # 3
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I am in the camp of: “shoes are such a small, insignificant detail.  I couldn’t care less what they wear on their feet”  It really isn’t something worth stressing over.

Even my own shoes are not the “exact” colour that goes with everything else I am doing.  But, I love the shoes so I got them.


Post # 5
2491 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I don’t think your requirements are outlandish at all, especially since one option is black.  (I’d feel differently if you were requiring them all to have turquoise or some specific “non-normal” color.)

You could remind her that if she was to wear the sparkley silver shoes, not only would they not fit the color scheme, but she also stands a pretty fair chance of ruining them on the grass.  And then she couldn’t wear them again.  She’s better off keeping the silver shoes for indoor events and buying a cheap pair of black heels.

And since black heels are so cheap and she seems to have an issue with buying new shoes, maybe you could give some to her?

Shoes are insignificant.  But it works both ways.  She can deal.

Post # 6
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think you’ve been very accommodating and that your sister’s behavior regarding the shoes is bratty.  You could nicely point out to her that you’ve given her a lot of leeway in her attire and even moved your ceremony location for her, so could she please wear shoes in your requested color scheme.  If that doesn’t work, then I hope that you do have the last laugh when your sister ruins her silver shoes outside.

Post # 7
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@myluverbuny:  I do not think you are asking too much at all! You have been very accommodating to her (there is no way I would move my ceremony so my sister can wear high heels…). It is NOT her wedding and you are not asking anything ridiculous of her. So I think you are in the right! Just prepare yourself for the backlash and be able to have a thick skin since it sounds like your family is siding with her for whatever reason. 

Post # 9
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site

Well, while I do think that shoes are really insignificant, I do think that you’ve been super lenient with everything else and she’s being selfish.

If *I* were in your situation, I’d say exactly what you said up there to her, make sure other people are around to hear it.  “Do what you want, it’s YOUR wedding after all”  *insert eye roll* and make her feel like an asshole for being a pain about this.   I don’t know what your relationship with her is like, but it’s what I’d do.

Post # 10
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Stick to your guns! You have a vision and you’re being flexable she shoun’t have a problem.

Post # 11
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@myluverbuny:  It sounds like you have been really lenient with your BMs and now your sister is being a brat. So she paid a lot of money for sparkly prom shoes she could only wear once? That is her problem, not yours! Is your mom the one who’s going to have to buy your sister’s wedding shoes? If that’s the case it’s no wonder your mom is backing up your sis, but it’s still BS.

It is your wedding and you don’t want your sister’s shoes to clash with everything else, which they will if they’re sparkly silver and your colors are black, dark red and gold. I think it’s okay if you put your foot down and tell her to stop being a spoiled brat and buy a pair of black shoes. For heaven’s sake I could go on Amazon and find about 100 pairs of black high heels. Ugh. I don’t even know her and your sister is getting on my nerves. LOL.

Post # 12
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It’s your wedding, but they’re her feet. If she wants to wear blingy shoes, I personally would let her. No one is going to upstage you.

Post # 13
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Woah!! I did not realize you changed the ceremony so she could wear heals!!! Eak, so sorry about that!

Post # 14
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@myluverbuny:  I’m a big shoe person and I’m one of those people that pay attention to every small detail.  So that being said I think you have been extremely lenient.  It doesn’t matter how much your sister spent on those sparkley silver shoes, that was her choice and she can find something else to where them to.  You’re giving her such free range in shoe decision it’s not like you’re asking her to buy a pair Loubatins!!  I told my girls (4 months ago) they need to go out and get fuchsia colored shoes – I’m not concered about style.  I did however ask my sister to not go over a 4″ heel because she is about a half inch taller than me and I’m wearing 4.25″ heels and I don’t want her looming over me, LOL! She threw a half minute hissy fit and then conceded when I reminded her one day she’ll get married and she can force me to wear flats if she wants! It’s your wedding and it should be what YOU want, not what your sister wants.

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