Post # 1
Hi bees! So we have picked and ordered the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses (yay) and of course now I’m focused on shoes. The dresses are short and navy, from J.Crew. I was originally thinking of having them just wear whatever metallic shoes they wanted (although I would specify gold or silver once I figure out which metallic will be incoporated into our decor), but recently I have been loving the photos I’ve seen of navy dresses with bright shoes… Our accent colors are light blue and orange so now I am on an orange shoe kick. I found some adorable ones by Nina, but they are $80 (although I can get a 20% off code taking them down to more like $65) and I’m hesitant to ask them to spend this much on orange shoes, since I’m not sure if they’ll want to wear them again. Their Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses were very affordable, so some of the girls have said they wouldn’t mind buying the shoes also, as the dress + shoes would still equate to less than what a lot of Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses are, but I just don’t know. I’d be thrilled to buy for them, but then that will impact what I can get them for their other Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts, and I have lots of other cute ideas for that, which I’d rather do!
What do y’all think?! Thanks in advance for the advice =)
Post # 3
If you have specific shoe you want them to wear, I think you could at least help them buy them. 😀
Post # 4
@Charcole2011: it really depends on your bms. Personally I can’t afford to pay for their shoes and I have asked them to pick whatever shoes they want in similar colours. Maybe you could ask your bms and see what they say? I’m sure they’ll be more receptive if you’re asking rather than telling.
I understand why you’d want the shoes to match though, it would make some nice photos!
Post # 5
@Belle2Be: I thought of asking them to split the cost also, but wasn’t sure if that really resolved the issue…it’s not so much that I need them to be in this specific shoe, but there are so few orange heels out there (I did find one other cute RSVP option, but it’s the same price so even letting them choose between the two wouldn’t help)…and I worry about the shades matching if I just said any orange is fine.
@Miss Geek: yes, I think I will ask ultimately what they think – I just didn’t want them to feel pressured to say they were fine to buy them just because I asked, haha
thanks for the input! =)
Post # 6
whats standard price to ask a bm to contribute to their outfit? i was a hostess for a friend,dress was nearly $200,shoes $80 (and looked like Payless)…
Post # 7
@E-Shix B: I’m not sure there is really a “standard” cost to ask…every wedding I have been in my dress has been at least $200 and a couple were $250-300. But I’ve never been asked to buy shoes, we were always allowed to wear whatever we wanted, which is why I posted this thread on whether it was ok to ask the girls to do that…their dresses were only $130 and the shoes I’m looking at would be around $60, so in my mind I’m thinking that’s less than I spent on just a dress for other weddings…but I still am not sure I’m comfortable asking them to buy the shoes. I think I’m going to show them all the shoe idea and see what they think…
Post # 8
If I were your Bridesmaid or Best Man, I’d have no problem spending a total of <$200 on dress and shoes. If you could help with the costs I’m sure your BMs would appreciate it but it certainly wouldn’t be a necessity, IMO.
I love the look of matching shoes with BMs in short dresses and we found some gold shoes for my BMs at Carnival. They were BOGO and we ended up just buying them for my BMs at $18 each but I can understand that its harder to swing that yourself with $65 shoes.
Post # 9
It sounds like both you and your bridesmaids have a limited amount of funds to work with. So it’s a question of priorities: where do you want to invest? Personally I think that colored shoes are adorable in photos but there is nothing wrong with metallic shoes, which many ladies might already own and which have a higher potential for re-wearability.
Before making this decision, maybe you should think on it for a bit? There is a long time to go before your wedding, and as we get into spring it is likely that more colored shoe options will become available. That way you’ll have time to resolve your uncertainty and if you do decide to go for them, there will probably be more options available as the weather warms up.