Post # 1
My wedding is tomorrow, and my bridesmaid called me this morning to tell me she thinks she has the flu. She said she has a fever, sore throat and has been vomiting. I told her I am sorry she feels ill and asked her what that meant for the wedding. She said she’s not sure if she’ll be able to make it! I only have three bridesmaids, so I’m really worried about her not being there. Of course I would miss not having her there on my big day, but I also don’t want the bridal party to look uneven. She’s supposed to go to the doctor later today to find out what exactly is wrong with her, so she said she’ll keep in touch.
I’m not sure what to do about this situation. Should I hope she will feel better, and if she doesn’t, then just have one less bridesmaid? Or should I ask a close friend to step in at the last minute? What would you do?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t replace her.
If she’s there, great. If she can’t make it, tell her you’re thinking of her. And if she doesn’t make it, be sure to give her the bouquet she would have had. It’ll make you look like a nice friend, who thought of her. Not the friend who thought about kicking her out since she was sick.
Post # 4
Agreed. If you replace her, it kinds of sends the message that she (and the stand-in) are mannequins filling out a dress for the sake of the pictures.
That said, I really do hope she feels better, for her own sake and for your peace of mind. I’m sure she was really looking forward to it, and this really sucks for both of you.
Post # 5
NO DO NOT REPLACE HER!!!! do you really want a stand in?!? your poor friend 🙁 and honestly nobody cares if the sides are uneven, it does not matter. I had 3 bridesmaids and husband only had a best man 🙂 It was great, we only wanted those who were very close to us standing up with us
Post # 6
Definitely do not replace her! I’m sure the poor girl feels awful, and for two reasons – the fact that she is super sick, and that she might miss the wedding! And I know it’s hard because it’s your wedding day and it must be super disappointing to think she may not be there, but I don’t think it would be very considerate to your friend to replace her because she is ill and vomiting. And I would try really hard to be supportive and insist that she don’t force herself to attend if she is too sick just because she feels bad. The last think you want is a bridesmaid running away to throw up during your vows! None of your guests are going to care whether or not the bridal party is even.
Post # 7
Your bridesmaids are people, not props. Replacing her just so you have a warm body in the right dress would be an awful thing to do.
Post # 8
Thanks for your comments. I just want to stress how bad I feel for her. I know it sucks to be sick. When I thought about replacing her, it was never to be offensive to her. It’s not like I’m kicking her out of the bridal party, she is backing out herself. I’m not sure what I’m going to do, since I’m still waiting to hear back from the bridesmaid to see if she’s seen the doctor yet. It’s highly unlikely I would find someone to take her place anyway.
I’m really stressed out in general, since the wedding is tomorrow. I have had a few things go wrong in the last week, so I wasn’t prepared to have to deal with something today too. I really hope she can make it to at least the ceremony.
Post # 9
Don’t replace her and if she can’t make it send her flowers, with a get well card. Let her know she will be missed. She probably feels bad.
Post # 10
@Bichon Frise: Well I hope everything works out in the end and that you have a great day tomorrow! Do you have a lot of things to get done today? If you can I’d try to take some time to just relax, go to lunch with your soon to be husband or read a book or watch some mindless TV to get your mind off the stress. My last minute issues all waited until the wedding day to pop up, so I hope you’re just getting yours out of the way in advance and everything goes smoothly tomorrow!