(Closed) bridesmaid stealing all my friends/family

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@TG20: maybe she just likes your friends and family? I don’t know if I would take it personally…

Post # 4
Member
1295 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@TG20: Not sure how contacting your family and friends = stealing them. Do they no longer talk to you? Are they not allowed to be friends with other people? 

Post # 5
Member
2024 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think childish is the right word, but I understand your line of thinking–it’s natural to feel protective of your friends and family, but if they like her, they’ll keep in contact with her.  There’s not much you can do about it.

Post # 8
Member
1295 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@TG20: I still don’t understand. Do you feel less loved by your family and friends as a result of your bridesmaid being friends with them? 

I can understand a bit of jealousy but you should be happy that your family and friends would want to be friends with your bridesmaid. It means she’s a nice person and others want her in their life as well. I’m just having a hard time seeing the negative here. 

Besides, you may not like to mix groups of people but you can’t control what they want to do and who they want to associate with. 

Post # 10
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

so your “surface” friend of a bridesmaid hit it off with your “real” friends and family and your upset about it, correct? in response to your original question then, i say yes, you are being childish and overprotective. if you don’t like mixing your groups of friends then you shouldn’t have thrown them together/picked a surface friend in the first place. if they want to pursue a friendship that’s their business.

my best guy friend and my ex became good friends while we were dating and they remained friend after we broke up. at first i didn’t like it since i felt like he was “my friend first” and should have given him the boot when i did, but understood that you can’t control other people’s relationships and quickly got over it.

Post # 11
Member
496 posts
Helper bee

You are surprised to find that several people that you consider to be good friends would also have other things in common with each other? You like them all for a reason – why wouldn’t they like each other for those same reasons?

Wanting to keep your groups of friends separate IS childish. As in, I can actually remember that happening among my groups of friends in grade school. If your friends like each other and want to hang out then you should be happy about that! Now you can all hang out together!

The great thing about friends is that adding a new one does not mean dropping an old one.

Post # 13
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

The only thing I think you can do about it is just focus on your own relationships with your family and not care about what your friend is trying to do with them. Chances are your family probably thinks its weird too and so within a couple weeks they’ll just forget about her.

Post # 14
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ve never been in a wedding party where the bridesmaids didn’t get along. In fact, I’ve made friends with all my co-bridesmaids anytime I have ever been in a wedding. So, I think its perfectly normal. I sent the maid of honor in my friend’s wedding (where I was a BM) a present when she had her baby several months after the wedding, does that mean I am trying to steal the bride’s sister away or I am being manipulative? No, sorry, I don’t think it does.

Honestly, I think you are being quite ridiculous. Who your friends and family make friends with is really none of your business. I think you are taking out your anger at this bridemaid and looking for more reasons and excuses to be upset with her. That is very childish. If you don’t like this girl, stop being friends with you, but you can’t demand that your other friends and family stop hanging out with her. They obviously see something redeemable in her, which you must have seen at some point.

 

Post # 15
Member
726 posts
Busy bee

 Whatever happened to friends being there for the bride?

??? What? Were they not there for you? Your friends can be friends with anyone. They don’t have to run it past the bride first.

So…did you want a drama filled bridal party? Are you feeling like you missed out on something? They got along, great! People change, just because they didn’t get along before doesn’t mean things can’t change for the better.

You seem to not like this girl. Don’t know why considering you liked her enough to ask her to be in the Bridal Party. Just because you don’t like her anymore doesn’t mean she can’t be friends with your friends.

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