(Closed) Bridesmaid taking over my wedding

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3152 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@dahliaitseems:  ok this girl is not your friend. Why are you even considering being her Maid/Matron of Honor or even having her in your wedding? She does not like you. Sorry to be harsh but it’s the truth.

i would tell her that since the date is so close that you will be too busy to plan anything for her. I would also likely not go to her wedding because she is NOT A FRIEND. 

Post # 4
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

I honestly wouldnt go

If its going  to ruin my big day cos she was spiteful then id refuse to go. Shes not stupid so im pretty sure she knows exactly what shes done. For the sake of my fiance having his moment seeing me walk down the aisle and for my own sanity I would not attend.

 

Post # 5
Member
652 posts
Busy bee

@dahliaitseems:  since she said she’ll be busy, take that as an excuse and drop her completely. Your friends will side with you. Then start planning something different and don’t let her know. She’ll start to freak out and want to know every single detail. Don’t let her know.

Post # 6
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

Drop her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and DO NOT BE PART OF HER WEDDING PARTY. I would keep her as a guest, just to avoid difficulty, but I also think your friends will side with you on this one. She is not a friend, she is some b*tch you’ve known a really long time. Real friends do not do things like this.

I agree with @Scar_cats_tic: change stuff, make your wedding better. Tell her you’re changing things, do not tell her what.

Post # 7
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

@Scar_cats_tic:  +1

Post # 8
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Has it always been this extreme? Why are you still her friend? 🙁

Post # 10
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 1996

When my bridesmaids started acting up(*) I fired them all and we eloped with our parents. It was, BY FAR, the best wedding plan I made and it made my wedding absolutely perfectly MY day. Sixteen years later? Still married. But those bitchy bridesmaids? Not around! Some food for thought…

(*) By “acting up” I mean all four of them going to a party that I couldn’t attend after being asked to be BMs and gossiping about me so that other people at the party came to me afterwards and asked me if rumors they had heard from them were true, such as: “I’m concerned, are you in an abusive relationship with your fiance?”

Oh yeah. No joke. One of my bridesmaids went there. Behind my back. And my husband has never ONCE laid a hand on me, even in frustration. There was no way in HELL I was going to have that “friend” stand next to me as a witness to my wedding vows. No way. No how. EVER. In fact, by eloping, I avoided having to invite her to the wedding altogether. It worked out nicely. Her apologies didn’t go over well and we don’t speak anymore. Surprise! 

Post # 11
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sounds to me that you still want the friendship and you are trying to be the bigger person here.  I think you should first, stop sharing wedding related things with her so she cannot steal them anymore.  You sound like a very sweet person and are just wanting to figure out why she’s being this way.  She doesn’t seem like a real friend.  You have every reason to feel hurt and betrayed by how she’s acting and stealing all of your ideas.  Maybe change a few details of your wedding so that it won’t be so much alike.  I understand that they were your ideas but it sounds like your “friend” has made her choices and she’s not going to change them, no matter if she’s hurt you.  Again, I suggest you be the bigger person.  You make the decisions to either still have her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man and if you still want to be a part of her wedding.  I think she’ll look back one day and realize what she’s done to her friend.  You may never get an apology from her but she’ll figure it out one day.

Post # 12
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@dahliaitseems:  please do not let her ruin your special day. you need to stay away from her bridal party. her asking u to pay for anything is RIDICULOUS. tell her ur feelings and explain that u think it would be best if neither of you were in eachothers weddings. do not pay or help her with anything. she is NOT your friend. A lot of ppl tell me im too nice and im a push over but even i would probably not attend her wedding at this point. this is total betrayal in my book. but at the very least you should NOT be in her bridal party and she def shouldnt be in yours!! she backs out of helping you with yours and then expects you to kiss her toes?? NO NO NO!!!

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