(Closed) bridesmaid that fiance cheated with=/ should i ask her to step down?

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 62
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m not a therapist, but it sounds like you are still struggling with some issues regarding trusting your fiance.  Whether or not you trust or can rely on your friend is far less important than your relationship with your future spouse, for purposes of weddings.  I can say that I would not have forgiven either of them, but I have regretted that philosophy many times over the years.

You cannot keep living your life in two parts – one where you have a friend and one where you have a husband.  It is time to choose between them or merge them both into your life.  And remember, if you feel that you can only trust your fiance if he doesn’t see her or talk to her, then you don’t trust him.

I hope that this works out for you.  Perhaps getting them together in a casual environment will help you become more comfortable with the situation.  No matter what you decide, as long as you follow your heart, things will work out.

Post # 63
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

First of all congrats, good luck, and best wishes.  This is the day to celebrate the relationship between you and your man.  Period.  Finito.  Anything that stands in the way of that most important thing needs to excluded.

Post # 64
Member
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but what would it take for you to leave both of them?  I mean, how much can you tolerate?  I would have dropped both of them in a snap, with less extreme circumstances than this.  Sure, you have to learn how to forgive and forget, but why would you want to willingly accept that kind of drama?  And you asked her to be in your wedding? 

it sounds like the people actually close to you still remember these incidents, and are reminding you constantly, trying to give you a wake up call.  If you can’t find the strength to make hard decisions for yourself, you will be out of luck, because it doesn’t seem like your fiance or best friend care about your well being either.

Post # 65
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

I dont wanna be rude, but u re an idiot. You should disinvite this person to the wedding. Period. Of course he ll be looking at her, men are all about taboo

Post # 66
Member
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Whatever happened with this?

I can’t believe that anyone would want someone their fiance cheated with even at their wedding, let alone have to even deal with the fact that their fiance cheated to begin with!

Post # 67
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I”d like to know too.. and I have serious doubts the wedding would have been the first time they saw each other again..

Post # 68
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My heart just breaks for this situation. I hope it all worked out & would love to hear how you wedding went!

Post # 69
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

yikes! 

 

i would have never remained friends with her & probably had dumped him also but being that you have a child and are marrying him….is your friendship with her worth it? When you have these horrible feelings it really is not worth the pain. I really have come to realize hat weddings bring out the worst and best of some people but it also helps you realize what is important to you. I thought 2 of my friends were awesome til they became the worst Bridesmaid or Best Man ever….you kind of just realize who you want in your life going forward….what are you going to do when it is your child bday parties, not invite her? Our you have housewarmings and things of that nature…worry they are hiding in the BR? That is so hard ……and frankly, stressing out over it wont ever go away….

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