(Closed) Bridesmaid that hasn’t ordered dress and its past date I gave

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
6222 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

talk to her more and keep reminding her, and if it’s getting down to the wire, maybe just place the order for her?

Post # 4
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

My Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses take at least 3 months to get in, and they all have to be ordered at the same time so they are all cut from the same dye lot. I am going to have all my girls order theirs 5 months before the wedding so there is plenty of time for alterations if needed.

This sounds like something one of my BM’s would do. That’s why I’m not giving her a choice of when we order them. I would talk to her and let her know it’s past the due date, and you need her to order it, if she doesn’t want to do that then she obviously doesn’t care about being in the wedding.

Post # 5
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

just remind her and ask her if there’s anything you can do to help the process.  

Post # 7
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Maybe ask her if she wants you to go with and then grab lunch.  Try to make it a bonding experience for the two of you since you feel you have kind of drifted.  This is assuming you both live close to the store.  

Post # 8
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@HeLovesDogs:  I thought that sounds awful as I wrote it. But what else can you think? This is one of the most important times of your life. It shouldn’t be stressful. BM’s are supposed to be there to support and help you. Not be the cause of stress. Good luck with her!

Post # 9
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@HeLovesDogs : I would send her a text or call her and just breezily say, “Hey, can you order your dress by the end of the week? The dresses will take some time to come in and you’ll need some time if you need alterations.  Thanks a bunch!”  I think if you give people short deadlines they are better and responding quickly.  If she gives you an excuse to not order her dress, ask, “Can you give me your measurements and I can order it for you, and you can pay me back?”

Post # 10
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I just posted almost this same thing a few minutes ago and we have the same date!! 🙂 Except only one of mine has ordered and 5 haven’t. It’s stressful!

Post # 11
Member
4682 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Can you place he order for her?

Post # 12
Member
3141 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

How long does it take to get the dress in? I thought you needed four months for delivery and a month or so for alterations? I agree invite her to lunch to reconnect and explore if she still wants to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and then go order the dress together. 

Post # 14
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Rather than assuming the worst (i.e. that she doesn’t care about your wedding) I would give her the benefit of the doubt. Your wedding is 6 months away, which feels like a long time to her. Yes, production schedules, dye lots, time for alterations, yadda yadda … she could be having cash flow problems right now, she could be extremely busy with other things going on in her life at the moment, etc., and all of that is naturally going to be a higher priority for her than ordering and paying for a dress she didn’t get to pick out and might not be all that excited to wear.

I think going to lunch with her is a good idea. Make sure you communicate clearly, though, that her friendship and her presence are important to you – not just the dress.

Post # 15
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree with the above, My wedding is 6 months away and its now going very quickly for me and i’m starting to worry about silly little things. I attended 2 weddings last year, when they were 6 months ahead it felt like ages until they’d come round. But when you’re the bride it feels completely different.

 

In the UK the tradition is thats the bride pays for the bridesmaid dresses, i’m not saying your way is wrong, but it would seem strange to me to ask a friend to be a bridesmaid and then tell her what dress i’d like her to wear and expect her to pay for it, when the chances are she’d never wear it again. Also seems that it eliviates a lot of stress as they are all ordered at the same time. Good luck, hope you get it sorted.

Post # 16
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@HeLovesDogs:  I’m having the same problem with my Future Sister-In-Law and FI’s niece are both bridesmaids in my wedding at the end of June. The niece is younger so my Future Sister-In-Law is going to buy her dress. All my bridesmaids and I went dress shopping for them three months ago and they all picked out their styles and everything. After talking to David’s Bridal they said they need to order their dresses by the end of January. Well a week after they tried on dresses, we found out that David’s Bridal made an oops and my FSIL’s dress she picked doesn’t come in the color we choose, and she needed to pick another dress. So to make a long story short, we are now past January, Future Sister-In-Law has yet to look for another style and has not ordered her niece’s dress! The dress turn around is 12 weeks and alterations are 6-8 weeks! We are coming down to the wire! So I texted her again and told her I want them ordered ASAP! And explained the time frame. And one of my bridesmaids also text everyone to remind them that this is mine and my Fiance wedding and that they do not need to cause us stress lol. So if she doesn’t have them ordered by this weekend, I will have to see if I can put it on a credit card. Some may call it being pushy but I don’t want something to happen and they don’t have a dress in time! Better safe then sorry! I hope things are working out for you 🙂

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