(Closed) Bridesmaid that I'm not too fond of… advice please

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I wouldn’t call her, things can be taken out of context and feelings can get hurt worse if you aren’t in front of each other. I would make plans with her to get lunch or coffee or something. Tell her that you really would love for her to be a part of your wedding but need to be 100% sure that you can count on her. Explain nicely that you know she gets busy sometimes and her timing gets out of her hands. This day is very important to you and you need her to be commited to being involved if she wants to be a bridesmaid.

Post # 6
5708 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

If you feel this strongly about her I would just ask her to step down as a bridesmaid because it doesn’t sound like she will be available and if you are looking for a bridesmaid to be available and emotionally connected to you during your wedding, it would be best not to have her since she can’t offer that.

I have a feeling once you get the dresses you will be back here posting how horrible of an experience it was because she flaked all the time. If you’re worried already about her not being able to meet for coffee or cencelling an hour before, just think what it will be like when you start picking out dresses.

Post # 7
4134 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I think you have to have a nice long chat with her about how she flakes out all the time and you’re worried since she already started doing it with wedding stuff.Then you can see how she reacts to that and take it from there

Post # 8
1410 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Stressed_Bride15:  “When I said to call and chat, I more so meant, just a friendly conversation. I really just want nothing to do with her. But maybe I should make the attempt to be friendly.”

If you feel this strongly, then you need to have a conversation with her. Preferably in person, but with her track record, it might have to be on the phone. Tell her you understand that she’s very busy, and don’t want to put the added responsibility of being in a wedding on her plate. Say you’d be honored if she attended as a friend, but you understand if not. 

She sounds like an obligation you felt, not a friend. 

Post # 9
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If you have to convince yourself that a decision is the right one to make ( i.e asking her to be your bridesmaid ), then maybe something is not as it should be.  If you can’t meet up for coffee or lunch then maybe when you buy dresses you can just announce a deadline for when the order needs to go in. If she can’t order her dress on time she can’t be in the wedding.

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