(Closed) bridesmaid told me she is not getting me a wedding gift!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t think you should say anything to her (no real way to without coming off badly), but I understand why it hurts a little that she said that.  That sucks.

Post # 4
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ouch! I’m sorry, I think that’s super rude. I would never say to a bride (especially if I was a BM) that I was spending enough money on them and their wedding so I wasn’t going to buy them a gift. That girl has guts! I have no idea what kind of advice to give you but I just wanted to give you big hugs. What a awful thing to say! Especially as you’re so close.

Post # 5
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I completely understand how you feel, and I think a lot of us would feel this way.  However, I don’t think you can really say anything to her.  Vent here on the WB but keep your mouth shut.  It could be a VERY hard time for her financially right now, and I think looking back on the wedding a few years from now she will realize that she was mistaken. 

The important thing is that she will be there in person to share your special day.

Post # 6
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wouldn’t confront her about it, but I understand why you’re upset. Has she been in or to many weddings? Maybe she thinks it’s normal for the Bridal Party not to buy gifts, which is certainly not the case!

I have never been in a wedding other than my sister’s, and I of course got her a gift. Fiance is in a wedding this year and we actually plan to get a bigger gift than we normally would since it’s a close friend!

Post # 7
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Wow. I’m sorry. I totally understand why your upset but I don’t think you can say anything. I mean its such an awkward situation.

Post # 8
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Boy, that was a little rude of her, just saying it like that. It seems to me that if she said, “I would love to get you an extravegant gift, but with the costs of being a part of the wedding, I don’t think I will be able to and I really hope you don’t mind,” you wouldn’t have minded.

By The Way, your response was excellent. You are a nice gal. This was just an unnecessarily hurtful way for her to tell you this, and I’m sorry for that.

Post # 9
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

This has happened with my Maid/Matron of Honor. She has told me that she cannot afford a gift for showers we will get a small wedding gift. However, she told me this right after she told me she spent $50 on a new pillow, and spent the night in a hotel because she just “needed some time by herself” no I’m no money expert but f it was me (and it has been) I would be making some sacrifices so I could give my best friend a gift. (I totally know where you are coming from ๐Ÿ™ )

Post # 10
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t think you can really say anything to her, but that is rough.  Maybe she is just really broke and wanted to prepare you so you weren’t expecting anything.  Some people just view gifts as “money,” so maybe she’s not thinking of the potential sentimental value behind it. 

I am with you though, I would never agree to be in a wedding but not give the bride, my friend, a gift (even if it was small).

Post # 11
Member
1232 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I know a lot of my bridesmaids probably wont get me gifts for various reasons and I’m ok with that, but for one of them to blatantly state that they’re not going to get me a gift a year in advance is SO rude and I would totally be hurt! She could have kept that to herself or said it in a nicer way! All you can really do is blow it off, which you did. Good for you for being the bigger person ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Although I personally would not be hurt if one of my bridesmaids didn’t give me an expensive  physical gift (our wedding will require some expensive travel arrangements, in addition to all the usual costs a Bridesmaid or Best Man would need to give), I do think it’s a little odd that she told you in advance.  She could have written you a nice card, wrapped up a frame with a photo of the two of you, and be done with it.  I agree with the PP that you probably shouldn’t say anything to her …

Post # 14
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Being a bmaid is so expensive.  I don’t think you should have that expectation of her to get you a big present too.  I mean, you either want her as a bmaid or you want her gift.  Take a step back for a minute.  A gift from her should be a low priority.

The topic ‘bridesmaid told me she is not getting me a wedding gift!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors