(Closed) Bridesmaid told me she is TTC…what should I do?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I keep her as a bridesmaid?

    Yes, you can't un-ask someone to be a bridesmaid

    No, you can politely explain why she can't be a bridemaid

    Other option (please explain below)

  • Post # 2
    Member
    8683 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    You’re annoyed bc she’s trying to have a child? Uhhh yeah I guess ask her to step down and please tell her the (ridiculous) reason…..

    if she was worried she wouldn’t have accepted. Smh

    Post # 3
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee

    I dont think you should ask her to stand down, there is no polite way to do so. You’ve got plenty of notice to find a different dress option for her in case she does manage to get pregnant. As for the other things that are annoying you, just say “thanks for the advice, but i really have my heart set on….etc”

    Post # 4
    Member
    1799 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I think you should get over yourself.  She is supposed to be one of your best friends.  Accommodate her like she is accommdating you.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1289 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I never understand these posts. I’m assuming you choose her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man because you care for her? So why would you be upset that she is trying to have a baby? Is she supposed to shelve her life for the next year just because she is in a wedding for a DAY??!!!???!!!! You should be supporting her and her husband during this exciting time… Not throwing a hissy fit because she might be pregnant on your wedding day. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee

    congratulate her and wish her a happy healthy pregnancy….  You  or Fiance can mention  that if being in the wedding will be stressful for her that you’d understand if she wanted to bow out. Anything other then that is rude. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1289 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    View original reply
    MrsAK14:  right, you are just pissy that she has to wear a different dress now. Just tell her what your concerns are. I’m sure she will happy step down after hearing this ridiculousness and will save you the hassle.

    Post # 12
    Member
    308 posts
    Helper bee

    I think it would be rude to ask her to step down from being a bridesmaid just because she plans to get pregnant and I’m sure you could get the same type of bridesmaids dress in maternity style 

    Post # 14
    Member
    6414 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    MrsAK14:  your update goes some way to explaining your attitude, as obviously you are not close to her, and, by the sounds of it, weren’t fussed about including her so the fact she might now be ‘ruining your vision’ is adding insult to injury, so to speak. However, you cannot possibly ask her to step down without looking very rude and possibly ending the friendship. 

    My advice would be to play it by ear; she may not get pregnant very quickly, and so she may be able to fit into a regular dress. If she does get pregnant soon, and will be heavily pregnant on the day, cross that bridge when you come to it; you could, for example, suggest being a bridesmaid might be too tiring, and suggest she does a reading instead. But worrying about ifs, buts and maybes is a waste of energy, so for now don’t do anything (just hold off ordering her dress). 

    As far as the unsolicited advice goes,I got a lot of this, mainly from colleagues. The way I handled it was by sharing very little, and NEVER sharing our budget with anyone apart from very close friends who wouldn’t judge. If she gives you a recommendation just be polite, say you’ll take a look, and leave it at that. 

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    1289 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    View original reply
    MrsAK14:  I think you are the rude one here. Celebrate your friend, or tell her your issues and let her make up her own mind. But saying you are upset about potentially having different dresses is not only beyond rude, it makes me wonder how close you really are to this girl? if you are going to let something as silly as a difference in dresses get you this upset, maybe you need to re-evaluate what a wedding is all about, as well as re-evaluate your relationship with this girl. 

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