(Closed) Bridesmaid told me she is TTC…what should I do?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I keep her as a bridesmaid?
    Yes, you can't un-ask someone to be a bridesmaid : (187 votes)
    82 %
    No, you can politely explain why she can't be a bridemaid : (21 votes)
    9 %
    Other option (please explain below) : (20 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 92
    Member
    124 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    MrsAK14:  I didn’t read all of the comments because they were so negative lol. But that does sound like a good idea. Even though they are TTC does not mean they will, so that sounds like a good plan. I just did not think you deserved all of the lashing out you received when it is a concern. I do think pregnant bridesmaids are adorable!

    Post # 93
    Member
    943 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    MrsAK14:  Any of the bridesmaids could happen to get pregnant. The fact that she mentioned she was TTC to you I think is very considerate. Why don’t you just wait to purchase her dress until a few months prior? It takes time to show so depending how long it takes, sometimes it can take over a year, she may not even be showing. I would just go with the flow and see what happens. I also feel its very rude to ask her to step down. Plus there are adorable Maternity dresses out there. 

     

    Anything can happen btw now and 11 months. I had a bridesmaid that had to step down VERY last minute… a month or two, due to funds.  11 months is a long time… Things can change for any of the girls.

    Post # 95
    Member
    2863 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    If you can’t manage to not be a dick about it then do her a favor and ask her to bow out. No point in her wasting her time, money and energy on someone who is going to act like you. 

    Post # 98
    Member
    618 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    I’m with PPs. Wait until 4-5 months before to order the dress. That’s a great solution.

    I just recently ran into (kind of) the same situation. One of my BMs told me she was pregnant (it wasn’t intentional, though) and that she would be 8 months (whoa!) on my wedding day. She found out THE day she was going to order her dress. She called me and explained things to me. I only have two BMs and one Maid/Matron of Honor. Luckily, only my Maid/Matron of Honor had ordered her dress, so I changed the dresses for the other two ladies to an empire waist. I don’t mind if my Maid/Matron of Honor is a little different than the other two and I am absolutely thrilled for my bridesmaid. I’ll be able to tell her little one that he/she was at my wedding  

    Should she have told you they were TTC when you asked her to be a BM? Yes, probably. But, had she and her husband made that choice at that point (sorry, I didn’t read through all of the comments. Apologies if this has been answered)? It could be a very recent decision. I’d be grateful that she told you so far out from your wedding. 

    Regarding being annoyed with the other comments she’s making -just ignore them. The DJ thing is innocent enough. She’s probably thinking she’s being helpful. If it bothers you that much, just say “I appreciate your suggestions, however all of the choices that I/we are making regarding my wedding are exactly what I/we want, so you don’t have to worry about any of it”.

    My two cents. 

    Post # 100
    Member
    351 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2000

    [content moderated for snark]

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by  leahkate.
    Post # 101
    Member
    532 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    MrsAK14:  If she is excited then I would be wary of ditching her but like others say hold off till nearer the time for a dress.  That will time for things to calm down.

    Don’t be upset by peoples comments – some posters on her are incapable of reading a whole post correctly and jump on tiny little threads they can use drama for. I’ve been attacked myself but only care what people genuinly trying to help say.

    Post # 102
    Member
    351 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2000

    [content moderated for snark]

    Post # 103
    Member
    532 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    leahkate:  At what point did OP say she wanted her to ask for her approval? 

    Post # 104
    Member
    351 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2000

    KBelle12:  Let’s see, over and over when she said she was pissed because the bridesmaid didn’t tell her when she accepted the offer to be a bridesmaid. 

    Post # 105
    Member
    2970 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Order an additional yard of fabric and order her dress a full size or two larger than she needs currently. A good seamstress should be able to make it work. And if she isn’t pregnant it can be altered down. 

    Asking her to step down is a bitchy move. 

    The topic ‘Bridesmaid told me she is TTC…what should I do?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors