(Closed) Bridesmaid told me she is TTC…what should I do?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I keep her as a bridesmaid?

    Yes, you can't un-ask someone to be a bridesmaid

    No, you can politely explain why she can't be a bridemaid

    Other option (please explain below)

  • Post # 106
    Member
    531 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    View original reply
    leahkate:  But she didn’t say she wanted her to ask for approval? Mentioning ttc and asking someone if it’s okay to ttc are two different things.  

     

    You sound like the hateful one with your unhepful, inflammatory comments. 

    Post # 109
    Member
    1396 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

     

    View original reply
    MrsAK14:  Ok i got married in 2011 i was in your SAME situation BUT the Bridesmaid or Best Man was one of my close friends. She told me she would be 9 months pregnant by our wedding and told me if this bothered me she would bow out. I said no.

    What we ended up doing, was went to the store i got my other BM’s dresses from and picked out a smililar style BUT that was kinda flowly. SHE bought HER dress. ALL of my BMs did but,

    You could find her a cheaper flowier dress and let her pay for it. I do realize you are annoyed because she did not tell you sooner BUT thats the option WE went with.

    She actually had the baby 2 weeks after we got married.

    Post # 110
    Member
    1289 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    [content moderated for snark]

    OP if you are trying to say I told you to reconsider getting married, pls learn to read. I told you to re-evaluate what a wedding means. As another pp stated, it’s not a fashion show. Every time I see you say anything about your “vision” I secretly wonder if you are trying to play David tutera!

    As your wedding is almost a year away, I have a feeling we are not seeing the last of your bridezilla-ness. And please don’t tell me to “leave you alone”. If you don’t want replies, then close your post.

    Post # 113
    Member
    916 posts
    Busy bee

    It looks like you found the true source of your irritation and an acceptable solution-getting the dress closer to the wedding date. Hopefully she will stop giving unwanted advice.

    Post # 114
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    why dont you just wait and see? it could take them months and months before they fall pregnant so might not even get in the way of the wedding? could you perhaps buy the other Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and just buy hers a little later? and if she does fall pregnant just say that you have already bought the other Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses now and you was waiting to see what was happening with her but now that you have the dress there is no way round the dress fitting her with a bump and then maybe ask her to do a reading or something instead if she is a close friend of your FI?

    Post # 115
    Member
    1396 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

     

    View original reply
    MrsAK14:  No not mean just ask her if she would be willing to get a more flowier dress. BUT also ALOT of ppl have a very hard time TTC so heck she may not even be pregnant by the wedding or IF she is she maybe not very far along at all.

    Why dont you call the place where you got your dresses from and ask them how long it would take to possibly get a maternity (flowy) dress in? And then look at your timeline and see how long you have to spare before deciding to get her another dress or not.

    Have you already ordered the dresses?

    Post # 117
    Member
    770 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    View original reply
    MrsAK14:  Being a very pregnant bridesmaid isn’t fun. I did it only because it was for my best friend’s wedding and I felt obligated to be there for her but I won’t ever put myself through that again. It was seriously exhausting and I felt like I couldn’t really enjoy myself because it just took SO much out of me. I was relieved when her wedding was over. My back was KILLING me by the end of the ceremony, pictures, standing, oh god… I can’t imagine doing that all again. The ceremony was also outside where it was hot as hell. If she had asked me if I wanted to step down earlier on I would’ve GLADLY said “HELL YES, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR UNDERSTANDING!” And I would’ve been there for her in any other way that I could.

    I agree with other PPs. Just wait it out and see if your Bridesmaid or Best Man actually gets pregnant. Then see how she’s feeling in her pregnancy and from there ask her what she thinks she would like to do. She may still feel up to being in the bridal party – she may not. But let that be up to her.

    Post # 118
    Member
    1396 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

     

    View original reply
    MrsAK14:  As for her critiquing your wedding, dj, and ring i would just ignore her snirking unwanted comments. I would just say thank you but no thanks.

    Those things would annoy me too. It isnt her wedding to be critiquing.

    The topic ‘Bridesmaid told me she is TTC…what should I do?’ is closed to new replies.

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