(Closed) Bridesmaid told me she is TTC…what should I do?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I keep her as a bridesmaid?

    Yes, you can't un-ask someone to be a bridesmaid

    No, you can politely explain why she can't be a bridemaid

    Other option (please explain below)

  • Post # 122
    Member
    390 posts
    Helper bee

    It sounds like achieving a “perfect” wedding that corresponds to your vision is more important to you than planning a significant celebration that effectively includes the people you AND your fiance are close to and makes them feel welcome. To me this also sounds like placing more emphasis on planning a pretty princess day that perfectly matches your Pinterest inspiration than trying to build a healthy marriage. Please consider what your priorities are here.

    Post # 123
    Member
    788 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    MrsAK14:  I read the first couple comments but this one has gotten big so sorry if I repeat someone else’s suggestion but…

    Why don’t you stick her with the groomsman if she is good friends with your fiance? Say the bridesmaids are wearing pink and the groomsman are wearing black…all your bridesmaids can wear the dress you want, all matching, in pink. And she can stand with your fi’s groomsman in a black dress that would suit whatever state she is in for the wedding. A good friend of mine had her really good guy friend stand on her side with the bridesmaids and he wore a matching color to the ladies instead of matching her husbands groomsman. It’s an option! Might be kind of fun and different!

    Post # 124
    Member
    308 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    View original reply
    MrsAK14:  I hate to see a person get piled on in a thread, I think the original question/post really put a lot of people off but I read through and can understand your frustration. I think this is the issue with asking someone you’re not close with to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I honestly think that her weird/rude comments (ring) or budget comments (DJ) are her way of trying to bond with you over your wedding. It’s a weird thing to do but I’ve noticed with lots of people when it’s someone not that close to the bride or groom they tend to overstep as a way to quickly have a closer relationship because they are now a part of a huge day in your life.

    I think waiting until closer to order her dress is a great idea, that way you’ll know she’ll either be X months or less than X months. I hope you are able to make it work with her as I can’t imagine having such a strained relationship with one of my BMs. I think maybe getting to know her better just the two of you might make it feel like she wasn’t in a way a forced member of your party!

    Post # 125
    Member
    1396 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

     

    View original reply
    MrsAK14:  I think that will be best if you do that and wait for the dresses. Alot of these bees are being rude and did not read your post all the way. I have had the same issue alot. Just ignore them.

    Sounds lke if she is being rude about the other things there might be a little bit of jealousy in her??

    What comments has she said about your ring?

    Post # 126
    Member
    1396 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

     

    View original reply
    carmor:  agreed. I think some bees jsut try to find things to bully a fellow bee about, when there is noting to bully her about. She stated her frustration CLEARLY but others did not read it.

    Post # 129
    Member
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    View original reply
    MrsAK14:  Ok I haven’t read all the responses but I can tell you that my bridesmaid told me the same thing my whole wedding planning – “I can’t buy a dress yet bc I might be pregnant…” She wasn’t pregnant by my wedding and bought her dress the week of my wedding.

    OP – Carry on.

    Post # 131
    Member
    9799 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    You must not really like this person.  If it is someone who is close enough to be a bridesmaid, you would do everything you can to work with them.  My friends are worth more to me than that. 

    I’m sure she isn’t worried about it, that is why she accepted.  Get a dress that works for either pregnant women or non-pregnant women.  You don’t need to be ordering a dress 11 months out.  Wait awhile.

    Post # 132
    Member
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Just because she is trying to conveive doesn’t mean that they will be successful right away.  I would cross that bridge when it comes.  I think you should just be happy for your friend and make it work.  It really isn’t the end of the world.  My SIL is going to be 8 months pregnant at my wedding!  Lots of Bees have pregnant BMs it happens all the time 🙂

    Post # 135
    Member
    1396 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

     

    View original reply
    MrsAK14:  Yeah she had no grounds to say that crap. Do you mind posting a pic of your ing? Id like to see it?

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