Post # 1
So one of my best friends and bridesmaids in my wedding called me last night to tell me she is 11 weeks pregnant! Obviously I’m ecstatic for her but the inner bride in me is trying to not flip out and rear her ugly head. Her due date (as of right now) is July 11th.. that’s 6 days before my wedding! She seems to think the baby will come earlier than that but even then is she really going to be in any shape or energy to be a bridesmaid! She already bought her dress and everything. I told her if it’s too hard not to worry about it but I’m still really sad. She’s one of our closest college friends and I can’t imagine her not being there. Advice out there from any other brides dealing with this?
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
Awwww, that’s understandable to be disappointed that she won’t be there for you %100 on your wedding, which you’ve planned for and are obviously super-excited for…I’m sorry! Unfortunately, I would be very surprised if she is able to make it your wedding or do much more than stand up there with you for the ceremony…Even more annoyingly, there’s not much you can do about it since there’s not really anything she can do either…It’s definitely frustrating and upsetting when one of your best friends can’t give you the support you need, HUGS!
Post # 4
Aw thanks @trailmix. You’re exactly right. I’m not upset that she’s preggo. It’s more or less the fun that she will miss out on because she will either be super pregnant or just had the baby. I really don’t think she knows what she’s in for 😉
Post # 5
I had a very preggers bridesmaid in my wedding too. She’d been a best friend since kindergarten and there was NO WAY she was not going to be there for me. She had the baby less than a month after the wedding. Let her do her damndest to be there and fulfill her Bridesmaid or Best Man duties. Mine did fine. She obviously skipped the bachelorette party, but that was it. Everything else was fine. Start looking at maternity dreses for her, or call the shop you ordered their dresses from to see if you can order the maternity version of her dressinstead. If not, ask them to up the size a lot so it will accomodate her belly
Post # 6
Oh my Goodness! That is soo exciting. It is kind of a downer but hopefully (Fingers crossed**) She’ll have the baby by her due date & be ready for that little break a week later!!
Post # 7
The timing seems like there’s a possibility she could be in the hospital at the time but it sounds like she really wants to be there. I’d just have a backup plan for bridesmaids/groomsman just in case (a bridesmaids gets to be escorted by two guys). That’s really exciting though that they’re getting ready to welcome in a little one!
Post # 8
I would have a backup plan as well. Since it is right after her due date, she might be having her baby right before and be in the hospital or not feeling up to being in a wedding.
Post # 9
Wing it? Can she sit during the ceremony and/or just hang out? My SIL was 8 months along at our wedding and she was dancing and everything. She wore flip flops and a comfy black dress with a matching sash so she matched the party. She was on my husband’s side so black was ideal.
She always says that when you’re pregnant, you’r ejust pregnant. The world doesn’t stop and you’re not dying, you can still do your thing. Women still work you know? There’s no reason if she wants to, she can’t be at your wedding. Unless she’s actually having the baby or had a c-section or something.
Give her the option. Worst case scenario you end up with an uneven number and then you can just say at the reception that bridesmaid So and So just had a baby but you wish she was here !
Post # 10
I had a pregnant bridesmaid…no biggie =)
Looking back, there are many things that freaked me out/worried me leading up to the wedding (of course, I kept this worry inside!) that really were not worth my stress whatsoever. I know hindsight is 20/20, but just wanted to share that tidbit =)
Post # 11
My sister had a bridesmaid who was due about 2 weeks before her wedding this past weekend. The baby did come about 2 weeks before the wedding, but the Bridesmaid or Best Man was determined to be there, and made it. Of course, we made sure her hair/makeup appointment was last so she could spend as much time as possible with her baby and her husband came to meet up with us before the ceremony for a feeding, but it worked out really well. They had grandparents whisk the baby away during the reception and were able to stay for a couple hours to enjoy the night.
Obviously, not the same thing as NOT having a newborn, but they made it work. Hopefully your friend can work something similar out, but either way don’t worry about it, it’s definitely something you just can’t control.
Post # 12
I understand that you want her there, but I think you need to pick a new bridesmaid. My 1st kid was early, but normally they are late. And even though he was early, there was NO WAY I would have been able to walk down the isle as a Bridesmaid or Best Man even 3 weeks later!
Post # 13
My gut would be, since she’s due 6 days before your wedding, is that she’s going to be in no shape to be there fully. Even if shes say, a day or two early, she’s still going to have a newborn, be tired and not ready to put on a dress and party. I’ve heard that the first one is usually the hardest b/c you don’t know what you’ve got until you’re home with it.
From my friends, they usually hibernate for the first week or so and then are ready to come out for a couple of hours at a time, but to leave for a large chunk of the day, IMO, would be almost impossible at that point.
Post # 14
I COMPLETELY understand what you are going through.
I have 9 bridesmaides including Maid/Matron of Honor. Recently found out my Maid/Matron of Honor is due a few weeks after the wedding so she will be VERY pregnant at my wedding and my other bridesmaid is due 2 wks before my wedding. I might be one bridesmaid short….it might suck a little…but the gift of life kind of supercedes even my wedding 🙂 I am so excited for my pregnant women and told them to move everything up and have the bachelorette party 4-5 months early if it meant my pregnant friends would be able to come and have fun. Whatever happens happens, and worst case scenario people will be dbled up when they walk down the aisle.
Post # 15
That’s a good idea about doubling up. Unfortunately she already bought her dress. Thank goodness it’s too big so she’s just not planning on altering it. If that doesn’t work.. my bridesmaid’s dress are black so I told her to just get a black maternity dress. I’m not too worried about it. I would love for her to be there but if she can’t, she can’t.
One of my other bridesmaids did say “wouldn’t it be great if she had the baby on your wedding weekend. we could spend all our time at the hospital.”
That comment kind of made me cringe a little but I just pulled off the best act I could and said “sure!” I’m sure she didn’t mean it the way it came across, right?